The Sun, the Sea, and the Strawhats
by three-days-late
Summary: In the Great Pirate Era, the world is divided into two separate yet equally important groups; The Pirates who chase their dreams, and the Marines who apprehend the offenders. These are their stories. Next: Okama!Sanji, Brook, and some panties. Oh my.
1. Guy Love

**So, sometimes when I'm doing something, I end up with things like this written instead. I'm going to just post them all here for your reading pleasure. Be warned though, they will be extremely random, may involve one or more various pairings which may or may not be yaoi/yuri, can involve any character in the series at any given moment, be about any topic, and _will_ make absolutely no sense. **

**So enjoy!**

**One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda, Toei Animation, VIZ media, and FUNimation. The song "Guy Love" belongs to whoever wrote it, which was probably some writer for _Scrubs_, which is owned by ABC. Last time I checked I wasn't not affiliated with any of them in anyway.  
**

* * *

**Guy Love**

Zoro walked into the galley and bore witness to a very strange scene.

Sanji was at the stove cooking lunch; as he normally was suppose to do at this time of day. What was out of place here was Usopp sitting at the table scrunched over something he was working on, sweating profusely while Brooke held him at sword point looking uncharacteristically somber. Zoro just stared.

Sanji looked up from his cooking as Zoro walked in. "You better not be here to steal any booze Marimo-head." When Zoro just continued staring at Usopp and Brooke, Sanji answered his unasked question, "Usopp wanted to borrow Brooke's violin for some stupid reason and ending up dropping it." Zoro made a face that said 'oh, that makes sense,' and continued to look around for some sake.

"Y'know, the whole 'sword-by-the-back-of-my-neck' thing isn't really helping to speed this up." Usopp said. Brooke responded by putting the tip of the blade on the back of the sniper's neck. Usopp lost his grip on his tools and accidently hit something inside the violin. When the instrument started to glow Usopp and Brooke dropped everything and ducked under the table. After a few seconds passed and nothing happened the both poked their heads out from under the table and, sensing no immediate danger, stood up.

"What was that?" Usopp felt the need to ask.

"I believe, if I am not mistaken, that you poked the _essence of music_." Brooke replied.

Usopp blinked. "Ah yes, the essence of music. I remember when I was about two or so when I had to-"

"No," interrupted Brooke, "this is the _essence of music_. It's basically just a physical manifestation of everything music represents. You shouldn't really go around poking it though."

"Wh-what happens when you poke it?"

"Nothing really, it just forces the music out of the heart of anyone who was exposed to it."

"What on earth does that mean?" Suddenly music began to start up from nowhere. Sanji turned to face Zoro who had found his prize and fully expected to be kicked upside the head for it. What he didn't expect was for Sanji to start singing:

"_Let's face the facts about me and you, a love unspecified."_

Zoro, Usopp, and Brooke (although he had no eyelids) just stared and blinked. Sanji continued:

"_Though I'm proud to call you Marimo, the crowd will always talk and stare."_

To everyone's surprise, Zoro stepped forward and picked up the song:

"_I feel exactly these feelings to, and that's why I keep them inside. Cause this plant can't bear the world's disdain. And sometimes it's easier to hide then explain our-"_

At this point they took another step towards each other, turned to face Brooke and Usopp, and sang in unison:

"_Guy Love, that's all it is. Guy Love, he mine I'm his. There's nothing gay about it in our eyes."_

Turning back to face each other, Zoro sang:

"_You ask about this thing we share,"_ to which Sanji replied:

"_And he tenderly replies..."_ Zoro took a power pose before finishing:

"_It's Guy Love"_ they went back into unison to sing:

"_Between two guys."_ They both turned back to face Usopp and Brooke. Zoro started heading for the other side of the counter while singing:

"_We're closer than the average man and wife."_ Sanji joined going the other way while singing:

"_That's why our matching Xs say Zoro and Sanji." _Zoro turned to face Sanji again and held up a fist while singing:

"_You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life."_ Sanji grabbed his wrist with both hands and sang:

"_You're the only man who's been inside of me!" _Everyone stopped for a bit. Zoro took a step back while Sanji let go of his wrist saying, "Whoa, whoa, I was just holding his ribs together." He glanced at Usopp and Brooke. Sanji tapped his shoulder. He turned back towards him while Sanji sang:

"_No need to clarify."_ To which Zoro responded:

"_Oh no?"_ Sanji continued, holding out his arms:

"_Just let it grow more and more each day."_ He put his arms down. _"It's like I married my best friend,"_ Zoro continued with:

"_But in a totally manly way."_ They both shouted "Let's go!" and jumped up on the table to sing:

"_It's Guy Love, don't compromise, the feeling of some other guy,"_ at this point Sanji got down on one knee while Zoro stood behind him, both of their hands crossed over their hearts, _"holding up your heart into the sky."_ They both took their hands and raised them to the ceiling. Sanji stood up and faced Zoro again and sang:

"_I'll be there to care through all the lows."_ Zoro responded with:

"_I'll be there to share the highs."_ They both started singing:

"_It's Guy Love, between two guys."_ Sanji jumped down off the table, then turned back to look at Zoro and sing:

"_And when I say, _'I love you Zoro,'_ it's not what it implies…"_ The music from nowhere slowed down. Zoro jumped off the table and joined Sanji in singing:

"_It's Guy Love."_ They turned to face each other. _"Between…two-" _they cut off for a bit, then Sanji nodded and they continued, _"guys."_ Zoro held out his hand for Sanji to shake. The music stopped as Sanji shook his head and said, "No hands," before kicking Zoro, who knew that he would leave the galley faster if he didn't defend himself, through the nearest wall and onto the Sunny's lawn-deck.

There was nothing but silence for about ten seconds; then Usopp and Brooke started laughing uncontrollably. Sanji turned on them, kicking them through the infirmary and onto the deck, before turning back to the stove to finish making lunch. Usopp and Brooke were still laughing, despite the cuts, bruises and broken bones. Chopper, who was playing cards with Franky and Luffy a few feet from where they landed sprung up and started calling for a doctor before realizing we _was_ the doctor and hurried to check up on them. The laughing had slowed down to a few chuckles and "yohos," so Chopper asked, "What happened?"

Usopp and Brooke looked back through the infirmary door they just crashed through, turned looked at each other, and then just started laughing again.


	2. What the hell was that?

**This is really short, sweet, and to the point.**

**Warnings: None.**

**Pairings: None really. A little Sanji/Hina, but not really.**

**And as always, I don't own One Piece. Wouldn't know what to do with it if I did.  
**

* * *

Well this sucks, Sanji decided as he was lead inside a Marine Headquarters in handcuffs.

It had all started out fine. Just your regular Marines vs. Pirates brawl in some unnamed town on some small island in the middle of the Grandline. Sanji was kicking some Marine ass, as per the norm, when the next opponent that came to challenge him had been the Marine Captain Hina-chan. She was so cute too, with her habit of referring to herself in the third person and pink hair. How was he supposed to not bend to her every whim, let alone lift a foot against her and still come out the other end calling himself a man?

"Black Leg Sanji! Hina is arresting you! Hina justice." She had shouted with the most adorable authority Sanji had ever heard from a marine

"3 ~ Haaaaiiiii Hina-chwan! ~ 3" The next thing he knew, Sanji was cuffed in some strange black bonds and tossed in the brig. Shortest fight in his life.

After sailing around for a bit, Hina-chan had handed him off to that Smoker guy from back in Lougetown, which made Sanji very upset, and subsequently taken to the Marine Headquarters that he was currently at.

This really sucks, Sanji reiterated as Smoker man-handled him into the building and tossed him into a kairoseki lined cell. "Kairoseki? That's a bit excessive don't you think?"

"Shut up pirate!" Smoker shouted before turning to the Marine fodder that just walked in. "I have apprehended Black Leg Sanji of the Strawhat Pirate Crew; bounty 77,000,000. I expect Headquarters to take appropriate measures." He said before promptly turning around and making his way for the door.

"Um…Commodore Smoker…this isn't him." The Marine fodder said.

Smoker turned to face him, rage evident in his face. Sanji just stared. "Come again?"

"Uh…"the Marine fodder looked scared for his very life. "This-this isn't…um…Black Leg Sanji."

"What are you talking about?! Of course it's him!"

"Uh…" the Marine fodder showed him the bounty poster in his hands. "With all due respect, sir, he doesn't look a thing like the poster…um…you're going to have to let him go-"

"What are you saying!?" Smoker looked ready to shove his head through the wall. "I've been chasing the Strawhats since Lougetown! I think I'd know what their chef looks like!"

"It's okay Commodore, we all make mistakes." Sanji said with a smirk on his face. "Granted, yours was charging a completely innocent civilian such as me with acts of piracy, but don't you think it's better to just admit your mistakes and get on with your life?"

"Shut up pirate!" Smoker shouted at him.

"C-commodore," the Marine fodder continued, "we have to let him go. We can't lock up civilians for-"

"He's not a civilian! He's a pirate goddamnit!"

But the higher ups had already made their decision, and Sanji was released while Smoker was punished for abusing his power. Sanji waiting by the coast until the Thousand Sunny came into view.

"Oiiii! Sanjiiii!" Luffy shouted.

"What's going on Curly-cook? We heard you'd been arrested!" Franky exclaimed.

Sanji shrugged. "The let me off for good behavior."

"Didn't think you were your bounty poster again huh?" Zoro commented.

Sanji jumped onboard and kicked him upside the head.


	3. Luffy's Birthday Special

**Happy May 5th! For everyone in Japan and South Korea, that means it's Children's Day and for everyone in Mexico, that means it's Cino de Mayo! Some lesser known holidays include International Midwives' Day, Martyrs' Day (Albania), Europe Day, Lusophone Culture Day (Community of Portuguese-speaking countires), Patriots' vicotry Day (Ethiopia), Indain Arrival Day (Guyana), Consititution Day (Kyrgyzstan), Tomato Harvest Day (Kiribati), Liberation Day (Netherlands), Senior Citizens Day (Palau), Feast of Saint George (Palestinian People), Coronation Day of King Bhumibol Adulyadej (Thailand), and National Cartoonists Day (America).**

**But, no matter where you're from or what you're celebrating (or not celebrating) today, it is Luffy's birthday, so bring on the birthday special that stars Sanji. One of these days I'm going to write something not about Sanji.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

**And I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

"You want what?!"

Luffy grinned at his chef. "I want a cake that tastes like meat. And I want everyone to enjoy it."

Sanji just stared at him. "Luffy, if I make you a cake out of meat, you're the only one who's going to eat it."

"I know that. That's why I just want a cake that _tastes_ like meat."

Sanji buried his head in his hands. "Luffy, I can't just make one thing taste like something else. And even if I could, you're the only person who would enjoy a cake that tastes like meat."

"You can pull it off. You're my chef after all." Sanji looked at him from across the counter. He sat at the counter grinning, complete faith in Sanji to be able to create his ridiculous concept of a cake.

"Oi, Luffy! Come out here for a bit!" Usopp called from on deck.

"Yosh! Coming!" Luffy ran out of the kitchen.

Sanjij sighed, _if it wasn't his birthday…_and set out to make a cake that tasted like meat that everyone had to enjoy. _Might as well just start on the whole making it taste like meat thing. I'll worry about everyone actually __**liking**__ it afterwards._ He got out all of the ingredients needed to make a regular cake along with a giant slab of beef and just stared at them for a bit.

Sanji ran his hands through his hair. _How am I supposed to make one thing taste like something completely different? I'm not an alchemist! Or am I?_ Sanji clapped his hands together before slamming them against the counter. Nothing happened. _Back to square one…_

Then Sanji remembered something the shitty Old Geezer had said one time. Something about a specific type of sponge-cake that initially tasted like nothing, which gave the baker making it the option to add whatever tastes they wanted instead of just generic cake-taste. _Well that only sounds like exactly what I need…I just need to put it in the oven at the same time as the roast, but how to get everyone else to eat it too?_

Sanji had the cake all set and in the oven with the roast when Zoro walked in lugging a Sea King behind him. "Oi cook, what do you want me to do with this?"

Sanji just glared at him. "Just cut it up or something stupid marimo I'm busy!"

"Just looks like you're staring off into space." And he was; he finished making the side dishes a while ago.

"Shut up! I'm thinking. Not that I'd expect you to actually know what that's like." Zoro ignored him and took out his swords to start cutting up the meat. "Hey, would you eat a cake that tasted like meat?" Sanji asked.

"Um, no. That sounds like a Luffy thing…that's not what's for dinner is it? I know it's his birthday and all, but…"

"Not dinner no." Sanji sighed. "What could I do to make it so you _would_ eat it?"

"It's not like it'll taste bad," Zoro said, "it's just, when you're eating cake, you expect it to taste like cake. You get what I'm saying?"

"Yes, all too well." Sanji looked at the Sea King. "Sea King's your favorite though right? What if it tasted like that?"

"Yeah, but what are you going to do? Make everyone's piece taste different? Luffy's gonna eat a good majority of the cake anyway. Why even bother?"

"He wants _everyone _to enjoy it." Sanji kept staring at the Sea King. "But you like Sea King…"

"S'not my cake though. Plus I doubt anyone else would like a cake that tastes like Sea King, 'cept Luffy."

"Everyone has a different favorite food…" Sanji grabbed a knife and brought a slab of the Sea King that Zoro had already cut to the counter. After a lot cutting and some creative sculpting, Sanji had created a miniature Zoro out of the meat.

"That's pretty cool…can I eat it?"

"Later. We caught some pike yesterday right? Go grab that and some of Nami-san's mikans."

"What do I look like, your chore boy?" Sanji kicked him.

"Just do it!" He rolled his eyes and left. Sanji grabbed some steak, ground beef, chocolate, sandwich materials, and muffins from the fridge and got to work. Zoro came back and plopped the fish on the counter and tossed the mikan at his head, which he caught reflexively.

"Nami said you better have a good reason."

"She'll thank me later." Zoro shrugged, finished cutting up the Sea King meat while Sanji worked, then left.

When the cake and the roast were done, Sanji decorated the cake and put on the finishing touches, and covered it up before taking the roast outside where they were all planning on feasting tonight. Nami, Robin and Brooke had the table set up while Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy were watching Franky show off his gift to Luffy in complete awe. Zoro was sleeping. When Sanji emerged with the roast and placed it on the table, Luffy stretched over and tried to eat it, only to be met with a foot to the face.

"C'mon Sanji, it's my birthday!"

"At least wait for the rest of the food to come out first, shitty gomu gomu." Usopp, Chopper, Franky, and Brooke went into the galley to get the sides. "Sanji, what's this thing under the sheet?" Chopper asked.

"That's the cake. Don't touch it or you're not eating for a week!" Sanji called back. Usopp and Chopper slowly backed away from it while still balancing their respective sides. Robin giggled.

Eventually everyone and everything was at the table, and after a boisterous shout of "KANPAI!" they all started eating whatever they could get their hands on before Luffy. It wasn't much.

"Sanji this is soooo good!" Luffy said.

"Let everyone else have a taste!"

When all the food was gone, most of it now in Luffy's bottomless stomach, shouts of "CAKE, CAKE, CAKE!" ran through the air. Sanji got up and brought it out on deck.

"YEAH! My meat cake!"

"Sanji-kun, you didn't really make him a cake that tastes like meat, did you?" Nami asked.

"Of course I did Nami-san, but I think you'll enjoy it any way." He placed the cake on the table and unveiled his masterpiece.

It was a round, three-piece cake with only a light layer of frosting on it. On the bottom portion was a miniature Franky standing by a big-but-still-miniature Thousand Sunny, both made out of hamburger meat; a small Brooke in front of a much bigger Laboon, made out of muffins of some kind; a miniature of Nami standing behind a watered-down map of the world made out of mikans; and a small Sanji standing next to what appeared to be an ocean made out of spicy seafood pasta.

The second part had the tiny Zoro made out of Sea King meat from before, but this time it was postioned in the finishing stance for Sanzen Sekai and there was a defeated Mihawk near it; a miniature Usopp and Sogeking looking quite brave in front of what appeared to be a small army all made out of pike; and a small Robin studying a poneglyph made out of several tiny sandwiches.

On the top section stood a victorious looking Luffy in his Pirate King outfit made out of steak and Dr. Chopper and a miracle mushroom made out of chocolate.

Everyone stared wide eyed at the cake for a few moments. Luffy started laughing after a few seconds and Sanji took that as his cue to start cutting the cake, giving everyone the piece with their own miniature food figurine on it.

"Sanji-kun, how…"

"Even someone with great artistic talents such as me would have trouble pulling something like this off!"

"Sanji…" Chopper's eyes started watering.

"Yohoho, Sanji-san, this is magnificent! Thank you very much!"

"It's so moving!" Franky started crying. "Baka, I'm not crying…"

"Cook-san, you seem to have outdone yourself this time."

"Not bad ero-cook."

Luffy got up from his seat, walked over to where Sanji was and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. "Thank you Sanji. You got it just right."

Sanji blinked for a moment then hugged back. Everyone else got up and joined and made it a giant group hug (Nami dragged Zoro).

"Now let's eat this thing!" Luffy shouted, breaking the hug and running back to his seat. Everyone else followed suit.

* * *

**Kanpai-cheers, used for a toast.  
**

**Baka-stupid, idot**

**Marimo- moss ball found in Japan. Considered a national treasure.  
**


	4. Super Important Marine Meetings

**You know, sometimes I'm not all that sure where I come up with these things. I have no excuse. Just, enjoy I guess.**

**Warnings: Mentions of Yaoi**

**Pairings: A lot. Too many to list. You can try to find them all if you want. Make a game out of it!**

**And I don't own One Piece. Ever.  
**

* * *

"You'd think, this being an important meeting and all that, that more people would have shown up on time!" Akainu barked.

Glancing around the room, Sengoku had to agree. Twenty minutes after the official start of the first official Whitebeard War Meeting and the only people here were him, the three Admirals, Vice Admiral Garp, Commodore Smoker, Mihawk, and Doflamingo. Mihawk was currently dozing while Aokiji was in full sleep mode…probably.

"How is it that the three people most likely to not show up to this meeting are some of the only ones here on time?"

"Garp dragged me here." Smoker answered. "No, he literally dragged me off my ship and into this room."

"I thought this was the dining room." Doflamingo admitted.

"I was napping in here first, and then you decided to have your pointless meeting here." Mihawk said.

"That's because it's the only way to get you to show up." Akainu said.

"Well, Jinbei would be here," Doflamingo added, "but you threw his sorry ass in prison. Hancock's probably wasn't going to show anyway…unless, of course, Mr. Mihawk here invited her personally."

"Just because she refuses your advances doesn't mean she already has a boy-toy; it just means you are an ass. And just because I'm the only other Shichibukai she even considers being somewhat agreeable with doesn't mean I'm previously mentioned non-existent boy-toy."

"Humph." Doflamingo leaned back. "No, I guess you do already have your eyes set on a different boy-toy, hm Mihawk?"

Mihawk lifted his head up in the slightest indication of something that might possibly interest him. "Explain your meaning."

Dolfamingo smirked. "I mean, you've been following the Strawhat pirates quite closely haven't you? Especially the green-haired first mate?"

Mihawk would have blushed if he was actually capable of the act. "It's not like that. He just has potential."

"Yeah, potential as a lover."

"You talking about Luffy's first mate over there?" Garp chimed in.

"What of it old-man? You want a piece of the action too?"

"Pirate-hunter Zoro? He's taken isn't he?" Kizaru added.

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, him and the blonde." Aokiji added, finding the conversation interesting enough to wake up for. "Shame too; I would've hit that."

"You'd hit this?" Doflamingo held up Sanji's wanted poster. "Doesn't look like anything special to me."

"That is a very poor misrepresentation of Black-leg Sanji." Smoker stated. "Trust me Flamingo, you'd hit that too."

"How can you be so sure they're an item anyway?"

"Trust me, they're an item." Aokiji, Kizaru, Smoker, Garp, and Mihawk said simultaneously.

Everyone else blinked, simultaneously. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I _was_ putting them in mortal danger, so those kinds of emotions show up a lot but still." Kizaru said.

"I was just checking up on Luffy-I mean trying to capture him of course-and I could obviously see how together they were…not just because they were making out at the BBQ mind you…not that I went or now about any pirate BBQs that didn't happen in Water 7…" said Garp.

"Well, damn, all I did was attack Robin and I could tell how close they were." Aokiji said.

"Hmph. I can top that." Smoker said. "I first met them back in Loguetown, and even back then I could tell that they were together."

Mihawk leaned back, smirking. "I can even top _that_ Commodore. I first met them probably within the first week of them meeting each other and I could see the sparks flying." That seemed to shut everyone up.

"Black-leg Sanji and Pirate-hunter Zoro?" Sengoku piped in. "That's a total bounty of 197,000,000. This could be problematic in the long run."

"Now that you mention it," Garp said, "That Nico Robin and cyborg guy were making gooey eyes at each other when I last saw them."

"Sucks for you Aokiji." Akainu said. "Looks like Robin's finally off the market."

"Psh, please. Just because I stalked her for twenty years doesn't mean I wanted to be romantically involved with her."

"Of _course_ not. It was all for Saul, right?" Akainu smirked.

"Still, that's only 124,000,000." Sengoku said. "The Zoro/Sanji thing is still more troublesome in my eyes."

"You think _that's_ troublesome!" Doflamingo laughed. "I guess someone didn't hear about Law and Kidd…"

"Oh? So they finally hooked up?" Kizaru asked.

"Yeah, I heard it from a source that never lies." Doflamingo shrugged. "Their respective crews, however, are still totally oblivious."

"Together that's a total of 515,000,000." Sengoku said. "Not to mention an alliance of the Heart Pirates and the Kidd Pirates would be devastating in itself…"

"Che. Told you."

"Not necessarily." Mihawk said. Everyone turned to face him.

"Just what do you mean by that?"

Mihawk shrugged. "If their crews don't know about it, then it's doubtful an alliance is going to happen. Plus with them being on different crews and all that, it's very likely that they will see much of each other. I'm betting it's not going to last very long past the Archipelago."

"Agreed." Akainu added. "If anything, Ace's mystery lover is a bigger threat to us than any Supernova pairing."

"Eh? How's this the first I'm hearing about a mystery lover?" Doflamingo grinned with the prospect of new gossip.

"Ace's been seeing someone for about a few months prior to his imprisonment." Garp said while picking his nose. "Other than that, though, I don't know much. Damn brat never talks to me about these kinds of things."

"I don't see how it's a real threat though." Aokiji said. "We've already got Ace behind bars. He's going to be executed soon anyway."

"Ah, but that's the thing," Akainu leaned forward, "this mystery lover could bust him out. Love makes idiots out of us all, and if we don't know his power level, well, he could possibly succeed."

"I don't see much of a point." Doflamingo had his head in his hand. "Strawhat Luffy is already tearing the place apart, mystery lover or none."

"That just makes it even riskier." Kizaru added. "If said lover were too also attack Impel Down, well, it might actually crumble."

"Damn though, I'd really like to know who it is." Doflamingo said, leaning back and looking at the ceiling.

"Enough of this!" Smoker slammed his hands on the table, blushing slightly. "We are here to discuss matters of international importance concerning the War against Whitebeard, _not_ gossip about would-be-pirate relationships like some high school clique!"

Everyone started at Smoker before looking around at each other. Finally Akainu broke the silence:

"So, did you hear about Kaidou and Shanks?"


	5. The Legendary Alternate Ending

**A lot of people have been wondering about the original ending to Tashigi's chapter in my story _A Date With Sanji_ (If you want to know what's going on, I suggest you check that out first). Well here it is...kind of. **

**When I did the rewrite to fix it, I had to delete what I originally wrote, so this was me doing what I could from memory. The concept is still basically what it was, and the last line is the same, but it's not exactly what I wrote before. Because things change depending on what the author is feeling at the time, and the fact that my wording (and sometimes the direction of the story) is dependent on what song is playing on my computer at the time and that is always different because it's on shuffle. Anyway, it's close to what it was but not exactly the same, I'm sorry for that.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

**Warnings: AU, Yaoi. Boy kissing really.**

**Pairings: Zoro/Tashigi, Zoro/Sanji**

**I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

"I'm on speaker phone, aren't I?"

* * *

Tashigi was perplexed, stunned, and more than a little confused. She looked up and saw Sanji pointing towards where Zoro was and decided that it would be best to go over there and talk to him, so she did just that. Usopp had enough sense to get his ass out of there and went over to where Sanji, Luffy, Brooke and Fluffy were.

Zoro just sat there staring at his phone. He couldn't believe the cook just tricked him into confessing like that. He couldn't believe he got tricked in the first place. What was he doing here anyway, this was stupid, and Tash could live her life however she wanted after all…

"Um…Zoro…" Zoro looked up and saw Tashigi standing there. "Can we talk?" Zoro just nodded. Tashigi sat down in Usopp's spot. She sighed.

"Look, Zoro, we've been down this road before, more than most people should. I like you a lot more than I should, I just don't know if I can trust you…"

"You can trust me Tash. I don't know where all of this doubt is coming from anyway."

"It all starts out fine and good, but then you do something stupid or you disappear for a few days and don't tell me anything. How am I supposed to trust you afterward?"

"It's not like that; it's never like that. You can trust me."

"Really? Then what's that on your neck?" Zoro looked at her like she was crazy.

"Tash, what are you talking about?"

"I know that asking your best friend out was a bit underhanded, but that's no reason for you to go make out with the first slut that crosses your path you know!"

"What? Tash, I haven't been making out with anyone!"

"See Zoro? You're already lying! How else do you explain that hickey?"

"What hickey? Oh this?" Zoro pointed at the spot where Fluffy had bitten him earlier. "Luffy's stupid alligator took a nip at my neck. It's nothing."

"Don't lie to me! It was that Nami wasn't it? You were always saying that she's the only one you haven't hit yet!"  
"Tash! It wasn't Nami! I'm telling the truth!"

"A likely story Zoro Roronoa. It's things like this that make me not trust you, you know."

"Well, if you didn't turn into a completely jealous-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Zoro didn't.

"Look, Tash…"

"Save it! I've had enough of you!" She stormed off in one direction.

"Fine! Be that way!" He stormed off in the opposite one.

* * *

"Well, I'd say that plan was a completely and utter failure." Usopp commented after watching the two lovers storm off.

"I don't see what went wrong…everything was going fine and then they just started fighting!"

"Yohoho, maybe it had something to do with Zoro's hickey?"

"…what hickey?"

"He had a pretty obvious one on his neck…"

"Urg! That jerk! Ruin my perfect plans with his promiscuity! Usopp! You were supposed to make sure he didn't do something like that!"

"He didn't! That was just a small bite from Fluffy. Could she really have mistaken that for a hickey?"

"Yes!" Sanji smacked his forehead. "Look, you guys go see if you can track down and bring Tashigi back here. I'm going to go talk to Zoro."

"Do you even know where he went?" asked Brooke.

"He was probably trying to head back to the boardwalk, so he most likely ended up farther down the shoreline."

"Alright team, move out!" shouted Luffy.

* * *

Sanji found Zoro sitting much farther down the beach staring at the ocean.

"They moved the boardwalk on me again." He said without turning to face Sanji.

"Yeah, they do that a lot don't they?" He took a seat right by him. "Why do you have to go and ruin my perfect plans?"

"Don't blame me, it was that stupid alligator. And stupid Tashigi for not believing me."

"Don't say that about her. You haven't given her many reasons to trust you in the past."

"Sure I have, she just chose to ignore them." He put his head on Sanji's shoulder. Sanji reflexively started petting it. "Women…"

"They're not bad, you're just stupid."

"Aren't you here to cheer me up?"

"Yeah…"

"You're failing at it, just so you know."

"Che. Well, what do you want me to do? You're being uncooperative."

"Sorry my feelings aren't being molded by your words."

"You're feelings are stupid."

"Your mom."

"I'm an orphan you know."

"Yeah, I know." Zoro nuzzled Sanji's neck. "You smell nice today."

"I smell nice every day."

"No, you usually smell like cigarettes and some French crap. Today you smell nice. I like it."

"Well, thank you, because you're obviously the one I was trying to please." Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Weren't you though? It was _your_ plan to try and get Tashigi and me back together wasn't it?"

Sanji blushed. "Th-that was for her, and to stop you from being all mopey. It was pissing me off."

"Aw, you were pissed that I was upset. How cute. You must really like me."

"Sh-shut up." He shrugged him off. "It's not like that."

"Isn't it though?" Zoro side tackled Sanji and pinned his shoulders to the ground. He straddled the other man's hips to prevent him from attacking with his weapons of choice.

"Hey bastard! Get off!" But Zoro wasn't listening. Instead he was just staring into Sanji's eyes. "What are you staring at?"

"Your eyes…were they always that blue?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"It's just…I never really noticed…" He leaned in closer. Sanji had a brief moment of panic.

"Zoro…" he managed to get in before Zoro crushed their lips together.

Sanji was surprised at the fact that he wasn't trying to kick Zoro within inches of his life at this point. He was even more surprised at the fact that he seemed to actually be enjoying the kiss. He gasped at this fact, giving Zoro all the room he needed to get some tongue in there. Zoro let go of Sanji's shoulder and put his hands on either side of Sanji's head. Sanji, arms now free, wrapped them around Zoro's neck and buried his fingers into his short green hair.

"_Sogeking no shima de...Umareta ore wa…"_

They quickly broke apart as Sanji dived into his pocket for his cell phone. "Usopp…what is it?" He asked breathless.

"Sorry Sanji, we couldn't find her. It looks like she went back home and we couldn't catch her."

It took Sanji a few seconds to remember what he was talking about. "Yeah, well, you tried I guess."

"Is Zoro okay?"

"Huh, yeah, he's with me."

"Well, what now?"

"…I think we're just going to head back. Can Brooke give you guys a ride?"

"Yeah, no problem. See ya later then."

"Yeah, see ya." Sanji hung up the phone and glanced over at Zoro, who he noticed was blushing.

"So…about that kiss…"

"Don't go blaming me for that, you're the one who picked out that shirt."

* * *

**Yeah, Usopp's ringtone is the Sogeking Theme Song. For those of you who haven't heard it yet or don't have it memorized by heart, in English the lyrics i used were:**

**_On the Island of Snipers, where I was born..._  
**


	6. Movie 5: with Zosan

**Um, yeah, so I got bored after doing the Alternate Ending and typed this up. I got bored with it half way through, however and half-assed the ending. I'm sorry for that.**

**What can I say about Movie 5...it's not my favorite One Piece movie (Baron Omatsu and the secret island of death) nor is it my least favorite One Piece movie (Chopper's island of who-really-cares). I guess I'm just a tad bitter that Zoro got a movie while Sanji still doesn't have one. I mean, Vivi even got a movie. Chopper got _two_ freaking movies...but enough of that. Anyway, Movie 5 is a lot more intersting if you pretend that it's really all about ZoroXSanji and that Saga was Zoro's former lover. Shame the same can't be said about Movie 3...but I digress.  
**

**Enjoy.**

**Warnings: Yaoi.**

**Parings: Zoro/Sanji, Zoro/Saga.**

**I don't own One Piece. If I did, Sanji would've had 5 movies by now.  
**

* * *

Life was pretty good in Zoro's opinion. Sure they were being hunted my marines, but they were pirates; it was to be expected. Nami was excited about this new treasure and was being less of a money hog because of it, which was always a good thing in Zoro's opinion. Luffy was excited about the prospect of a new adventure, which was a bit contagious but left everyone in a good mood none the less. Robin, well, she was beginning to be more trustworthy. Not completely, but more so than before at any rate. He and Sanji were doing well too. _Quite_ well thanks for asking.

Yes, in Roronoa Zoro's opinion, life couldn't get much better than this.

Which was exactly when things started to go wrong.

Or, maybe it started when that stupid small-sword landed next to his head. Yeah, that's probably where things started to go wrong.

He really shouldn't have gone. The sword brought back memories both good and painful for Zoro and responding to his call could only bring about pain. But, he did owe Saga his life…the least he could do was see what he wanted.

So Zoro did just that.

* * *

Sanji wasn't _too_ worried when they got back to the ship to find Zoro missing. He probably just went for a walk and got lost. He got a little worried when the Marines renewed their attack and they had to leave the town behind them. Not very mind you, just a little. Nor was he too worried when Usopp and Luffy also went missing.

"It's like the island is eating everyone!"

"Sanji-kun, relax. They can all take care of themselves. We should concentrate on finding that girl anyway. Finding some civilization wouldn't be a bad thing at this point."

"Yes! We should look for that super-cute girl!" Nami sighed.

They did eventually find the girl and her village (her name was Maya, so cute!). Unfortunately they weren't to pirate friendly there. Fortunately there was a distraction. Or maybe not so fortunate, because the distraction turned out to be…

"Zoro!" Chopper shouted.

"That bastard…" Sanji ran off ahead.

* * *

Zoro didn't know what the big deal was with the orbs, nor did he know exactly why Saga needed them, but he said they would help and it's not like these villagers are anyone important to Zoro. If he could just finish his task and leave before the crew finds him then it would be all good.

Fate must hate Zoro.

"Hold it!" Sanji slide into view, blocking the girl and the orbs. "Damnit Zoro, are you thinking clearly?!"

"Yeah, I found her." Out of all of the people to stand in his way, it just had to be _him_ didn't it?

"Well, have it your way. I won't forgive anyone who threatens a lady with a blade, even if it is you!" And with that Sanji launched into a series of kicks.

Zoro _really_ didn't want to fight Sanji. He really didn't. But Saga was hurting and those orbs would help him, and the damn cook wasn't taking this seriously. He managed to get a kick in to stop Zoro's arms from slashing at him; however this left him in an extremely vulnerable position. Sanji was better than this…he wasn't taking this seriously at all was he?

"You've left yourself in a vulnerable stance."

"Bastard! Do you have any idea what you're doing?" _Why does he keep assuming I don't know the full story?_ Wondered Zoro.

"Sanji," Sanji was startled at the use of his real name (no matter how intimate they were that would probably never change). "Before I end this, I'll give you some advice. When you fight a swordsman, never lose your focus for even a split second." He pushed Sanji back a little. "As soon as you show an opening, you will have sealed your fate."

"Zoro, you…" Zoro didn't want to hear it; he pushed back harder and finished his attack, which sent his lover flying and (hopefully) not permanently damaging his shoulder. Chopper could fix it, right?

* * *

Physically he'd been hurt a lot worse. The avalanche on Drum completely took out his back and Bon Clay had left him in much worse condition after their encounter. But avalanches don't attack you on purpose, and Bon Clay was their enemy at the time, and this was _Zoro_ for god's sake. His Zoro.

He didn't hear Nami and Chopper run over until they were right on top of him. "Sanji!" Chopper shouted.

"Why…why are you doing this Zoro?!"

"This is horrible! What did Sanji do to you?!"

Frankly, Sanji didn't really care about either of those points at the moment; it was all a bit too much as it was.

* * *

Zoro, for his part, wasn't really paying attention to anything Nami and Chopper were shouting at him. He was much more concerned about just getting the damn orbs and getting the hell away from here. Which he did.

"I'm taking these." He said simply.

"Give them back!" the girl stood up. Stupid girl, why did Sanji feel the need to defend her anyway? "They are really precious to us!"

"To me too." And with that he left.

* * *

The villagers had decided to let them stay and help out, considering the fact that they _did_ help defend them and Chopper _was_ taking care of the majority of the wounded.

Sanji had agreed to make soup. If nothing else, it took his mind off some things. Some stupid green haired things that can't make up their damn mind. If he didn't want to be with Sanji anymore, he could have just said so; he didn't have to go that far. Unless he wanted to leave _everyone_ behind? It didn't make any sense at all and it still made Sanji feel like it was all his fault anyway.

"Sanji-kun," Nami-san's lovely voice distracted him from his thoughts. "Are you sure you should be cooking with that hurt arm?"

"Yeah, I'm the cook after all." He decided not to look at her. "This helps to take my mind off things." He poured some soup into the bowls. "Thanks to that shithead Zoro, Maya-chan lost something that was precious to her." He turned to face her. "Sorry about that. Those were really important, those orbs." She looked down, disappointed at something, and shook her head, but didn't say anything.

"Sanji-kun…" Nami bent down and gave him a hug.

"N-Nami-san?"

"I'm sorry, Sanji-kun. I know how much he means to you and…" She sighed, "We'll get him back. Don't worry."

Sanji didn't say anything. He just put his good arm around her and hugged back. Once in a lifetime opportunity no?

* * *

Zoro dropped the orbs into the well.

"You could have taken those without my help."

"No, this was something only you could do." Saga gasped and started shaking.

"Saga!" Zoro stepped forward. "Weren't those orbs the cause of your pain? If I destroyed the orbs…"

"I'm not in pain!" he said suddenly. "I'm shaking with joy. You'll understand soon enough."

Zoro started thinking that maybe betraying the others wasn't exactly the best choice he could have made. Plus he missed Sanji. A lot.

Saga walked away, laughing an evil laugh. Zoro wasn't really paying attention to what the three goons were talking about until one of them said:

"Strawhat Luffy-san was defeated by the Master, but that doesn't concern you anymore, right?"

Yeah, coming here was a big mistake.

Zoro realized how much of a mistake when Saga went into his little speech about power. This definitely wasn't the Saga he remembered; the Saga that sacrificed his arm to save him. The Saga that he owed everything.

And then there was that sword. Stupid cursed sword. Zoro himself had a cursed sword, but at least he could control it. This was way out of anyone's control. More like the sword was controlling Saga at this point. And those stupid marines were eating it up! Honestly, it's no wonder he became a pirate.

"Zoro, a word." Saga said after all of the random chanting was done. Zoro obliged and followed him outside, where he was promptly pulled into a one-armed hug.

"Whatever happened to us, Zoro? We used to be so close…"

"You left me remember?"

"Worst decision of my life, I suppose." Saga sighed and pulled back. "What's his name?"

"Who?"

"The blonde. My subordinates tell me that you left him alive. That's not very like you is it?"

"Well, we _are_ nakama."

"You _were_ nakama." Saga sighed again. "Do you think he's cuter than me?"

_Yes._ "What are you going on about now?"

"Nothing. Never mind. Forget I even brought it up." Saga sighed one last time. "Well, I'll see you in the morning I suppose. Tomorrow's going to be a very eventful day after all." With that he sauntered away. Zoro looked up at the moon.

Yeah, definitely should have stayed with Sanji and the others.

* * *

Sanji didn't want to hear it. Not about stupid cursed swords or the stupid orbs that were supposed to seal them or stupid Saga and his stupid history with Sanji's stupid lover…ex-lover…hell he's not even sure where they stand anymore. And he most certainly doesn't want to hear about Zoro. Stupid Zoro and his stupid past and making Sanji feel stupid for loving him. It was all just…stupid.

He never thought he'd think it, but thank God for Luffy and his random adventures. And thank God for his ability to find the simple solution to all of life's little problems.

"Don't worry," he said as they gathered their respective orbs and were getting ready to head in their separate directions. "Zoro's definitely coming back."

Sanji couldn't help but smile at that. "Yeah, that's right."

* * *

Yeah, leaving the others was _definitely_ a mistake. Zoro was sure of that now. He figured it out somewhere between the glowing-sword of death spitting out random fire balls and the bleeding. The sadistic sword was _enjoying_ seeing Zoro being cut into a million pieces. If it wanted to kill him it should just do it quickly. Then maybe it wouldn't have been stopped by the barrier.

The barrier was definitely a good thing. Sanji or Luffy must have put it up. Probably both of them. Everyone must have had a hand, now that he thought about it. The villagers too. Not that it mattered; he lost too much blood to make sense of anything right now anyway. All that he knew now was that Saga had gone off to destroy the barrier, leaving Zoro with a chance to catch his breath.

Not that he really needed such trivialities; he knew what needed to be done. He needed to beat that damn sword out of Saga and beg Sanji for forgiveness. Well, maybe not beg. Something that was _like_ begging without actually being it…if that was possible. He'd think of something better later when he had more blood. Right now was action time, and he needed to go chase down Saga. So he did.

* * *

"So you're finally awake now?"

Zoro looked over and saw Saga sitting in the bed next to him. They were in some kind of tent, probably in the village.

"Listen, I'm sorry about-"

"Nah, forget it. S'over and done with. You weren't in your right mind anyway."

"Hm." He sighed. "She's never going to take me back, is she?"

"Who the girl?" Saga nodded. "Maybe. I'm sure she'll understand though."

"What about you and the blonde?"

"He'll get over it, maybe. S'not a big deal anyway…" Saga gave him a sad smile.

"Sure it isn't…"

"What's that suppose to mean?" But at that moment, said blonde came bursting into the tent.

"You jackass!" he said, marching forward and slapping Zoro hard across the face.

"What was that-?"

"That was for leaving during your watch!" He kicked Zoro in the gut hard enough to toss him out of the tent and followed him out.

"That was for making everyone worry about your sorry ass!" Sanji preformed a drop kick on Zoro's chest. "That was for slicing up my shoulder!"

"You seem fine to me…"

"That's not the point!" Sanji straddled Zoro's hips, grabbed the front of his shirt, and pulled him into a kiss. "That," he said when he pushed him back, "was to tell _him_ to stay the hell away from you!"

Zoro smiled. He didn't really care that they had now become the center of attention for, well, everyone. He sat up and pulled Sanji into a hug. Sanji rested his head on his shoulder. "You were that worried about me huh?"

"Psh. No. Just don't do it again."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."


	7. Seven Things Nami Hates About Sanji

**This is, if nothing else, an experiment with the first person narrative. It is also a song-fic...kind of. In a way. Maybe half song-fic? Either way, enjoy.  
**

**The song is "Seven Things I Hate About You" by Miley Cyrus (don't judge). Mostly. I had to change 'your old levi's' to 'your black silk ties' because Sanji don't wear jeans. ;p  
**

**The pairing is Nami/Sanji.**

**I own neither One Piece nor the song.  
**

* * *

Stupid cooks who don't deserved to be named right now pissing me off! Calm down, Nami, easy breaths; just remember that boys are morons. I should vent before I hurt someone...

_The Seven Things I Hate About You:_

Yes, that should work. Idiotic cook getting me all worked up.

_1. You're vain_

Stupid jerk thinks he's all that. There was that one time in Alabasta with his Mr. Prince disguise. Yeah it was a good idea and got us out of a pinch, but there was no reason to keep going on with it. He's always comparing himself to a Prince, picturing himself the storybook hero I don't want or need. It gets old.

_2. Your games_

It's like he treats love as a game, always playing around with my emotions. I can never tell when he's being serious or if it's just more playing. Pisses me off; not everyone can go through life as carefree as our captain. Sometimes people need to take responsibility and I'm tired of it always being me! I want to play sometimes too…

_3. You're insecure_

That's the only word I can think of to describe it anyway; his constant need to be complimented. His food is always delicious, it's practically a given. There's no need to be fishing compliments from everyone all the time. Not that he doesn't give out his own compliments all the time, but even those are excessive too, and also probably another way for him to go fishing for even more compliments.

_4. You love me, you like her_

Self-explanatory really: He's such a flirt. I don't understand it. He already has me, so what's the point? Moronic chefs with their pointless Kishido. Didn't he learn from Kalifa that not all girls are as pure as he thinks they are? He's going to get himself killed one of these days because of it…not that I'll care.

_5. You make me laugh, you make me cry. I don't know which side to buy._

He can have me laughing one moment and in tears the next. I guess this goes along with the whole 'don't know when he's being serious thing.' I wish he could just make his intentions clear instead of all this playing around and beating around several bushes.

_6. Your friends, they're jerks. When you act like them, just know it hurts._

A bit of an overstatement I guess, considering we have the same friends and all that. But still the point stands that when they are acting like jerks and being loud and annoying when I'm trying to concentrate, there is absolutely no reason for you to join in and be just as annoying. Especially Zoro. Why do you two constantly have to be at each other's throats? Give it a rest once in a while.

As for the seventh thing…

_7. You make me love you._

And that is the best reason I can think of to hate you.

"Nami-san? May I come in please?" Speak of the devil.

"What is it Sanji-kun?" Of course he just comes in, carrying his stupid plate full of food and drinks…

"I'm sorry, Nami-san, I didn't know you were working on something."

"It's nothing," Gotta cover it up. "Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to apologize…for before." This outta be good. "I…I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know I never like getting you upset and that I'd never actually do it on purpose."

"Hhn."

"Well, in an attempt to achieve your forgiveness, I made you your favorite fruit platter. And a drink." Well…it would be a waste _not_ to take them.

"Thanks Sanji-kun. This doesn't mean I forgive you though."

"I know. This is more like a peace offering if you will." The bowing and kissing my hand is a bit excessive, even for him. "Adieu, mon cheri." And then he was gone.

"French-speaking jerk…" but the food and drink was a nice gesture…and least he's sorry anyway…he's not really a bad guy right?

_The Seven Things I Like About You:_

_1. Your hair_

It's always so soft and golden and shiny. He defiantly takes care of it…unlike some _other_ men on this boat. And yet it just seems to fall so naturally in front of his left eye. That's pretty cool, even if it is a little creepy that it defies the laws of physics. But that's actually pretty cool too.

_2. Your eyes_

They're so deep and blue, like your ocean. And they can be so intense when you actually use your head and concentrate. And during those times when he 'heats up,' the resulting fire in them is well, pretty damn sexy. Even the hearts that appear in them are endearing at times.

_3. Your black silk ties_

Because I can admit it, he's got a style all your own, and he knows it. He works it and works it good. Not to mention the fact that his ties are super-convenient whenever I want to pull him in for a kiss at random intervals during the day. Plus they're always fun to take off…but that's for another time…maybe.

_4. When we kiss I'm hypnotized_

I've gotta hand it to the man; he sure can kiss. It does make me wonder just how much experience he has in that area…among others, but it doesn't matter anymore. He's mine now, and so are all of his amazing, heart-stopping, breath-stealing kisses.

_5. You make me laugh, you make me cry. But I guess that's both I'll have to buy._

Because despite all of the heartbreak and the indecisiveness that he makes me feel, I really wouldn't want him to change…maybe the flirting, but then again, that's just part of who he is.

_6. Your hands in mine. When we're intertwined, everything's alright._

He is sweet and although he can be completely overbearing with his affections at times, he does know when to back off and when all I really want from him is to just be there by my side and not say anything; just comfort me with his mere presence. He always does seem to know where the too much mark is and, although he's toed the line several times, he's never actually crossed it.

So, for the seventh thing…

_7. You make me love you, you do._

And he does. He really does.


	8. Bink's Sake

**I should probably stop posting at like, 5 in the morning, but this concept was stuck in my head and I couldn't sleep until I got it all out.**

**I'm still not sure what I was trying to do, but I think I pulled it off quite nicely.**

**Warning: Japanese, but it's all translated.**

**Pairings: None**

**And I don't own One Piece or the awesome songs associated with it.  
**

_

* * *

_

_Binksu no sake o, tokoke ni yuku yo, (Going to deliver Bink's sake)__  
Umikaze kimakase namimakaze (Following the sea breeze, riding on the waves)  
Shio no mokou de, yuuhi mo sawagu (Far across the salty depths, the merry evening sun)  
Sora nya wa wo kaku, tori no uta (Painting circles in the sky, as the Birds Sing)_

Luffy remembers…

He was ten years old and wandering around Fuschia Village, bored out of his mind. Ace was off being Ace at the moment, Grandpa was never around anyway, not that he was ever fun to play with when he was, and all of the villagers were hiding indoors ever since the pirates came to town. Since there was nothing to do and no one to play with, Luffy took to the streets, scoping out for anything that peaked his interest.

Suddenly he heard a sound coming from inside Patty's bar, where he knew the pirates were. It sounded like…laughter. Luffy knew everybody warned him to stay away from them, but curiosity overrode everything else as he crept closer to the door.

"C'mon boys, how about one more round!" shouted a man with red hair.

"Captain…" a man sitting next to him warned.

"No, it's a good song and I want to sing it again! So do they, don't cha boys!" he gestured to everyone else in the bar. They all cheered. The other man sighed.

"This time with feeling!" the captain shouted.

"_Binksu no sake o, tokoke ni yuku yo…"_

The song was enticing; it sang of the sea and adventures and everything Luffy ever wanted out of life.

He came back to the bar the next day to visit the pirates. And the next day, and the next day…

_Sayonara minato, Tsumugi no sato yo (Farewell to the harbor, to my old hometown)  
DON to icchou utao, funade no uta (Lets all sing out with a Don! As the ship sets sail)  
Kinpa-ginpa mo shibuki ni kaete (Waves of gold and silver dissolve to salty spray)  
Oretacha yuku zo, umi no kagiri (As we all set sail to the ends of the sea)_

Nami remembers…

She was around seven or eight, and it was a bright, sunny day. One of those days were all you wanted to do was lounge around under your favorite tree, eat some mikans, read a book, draw a map. But today, Nami and Nojiko had work to do.

"Bellemere-san…it's so nice out…why do we have to work today?"

"Nami, stop complaining!" her sister reprimanded. "If we don't pick the mikan's today it'll be too late!"

Nami turned to complain to her foster-mother again, but was surprised to see that she wasn't there anymore. "Bellemere-san?" She looked around, slightly panicked by her disappearing act before she heard the humming. Nami followed the humming out of the mikan grove to one of her favorite spots to just sit and stare at the ocean. There she found Bellemere lounging about, mikan partially peeled in her hand.

"_Kinpa-ginpa mo shibuki ni kaete…"_ Bellemere was singing softly. Nami stopped in her tracks as she listened to the song; it reminded her of sea breezes and oceans waves and made Nami want to head out to sea right then and there.

"Bellemere-san!" Nojiko came up behind her. "Now's not the time to be goofing off."

"Nojiko, Nami…sorry, it's just too nice a day to be working." Nojiko just glared at her. "Alright I'm coming."

"Bellemere-san, what was that song?" Nami asked.

"Hm? Just an old pirate shanty. It's quite catchy, don't cha think?" Nami nodded. "C'mon, if we sing while we work, it'll go by that much faster, and then we can enjoy this day to its fullest!"

Nami laughed, nodded, and ran ahead to catch up with her sister.

_Binkusu no sake o, todoke ni yuku yo (Going to deliver Bink's sake!)  
Warera kaizoku, umi watteku (We are pirates sailing through the sea!)  
Nami wo makura ni, negura wa fune yo (The waves are our pillows, the ship our roost)  
Ho ni hata ni ketateru wa dokuro (Flying the proud Skill on our flags and our sails)_

Usopp remembers…

He was about five or so, and it was one of those rare instances where his mother was feeling well enough to walk with him on the beach. Usopp was collecting shells and showing them off.

"Look at this one mom! It must have come all the way from the Grand Line…" She chuckled.

"I bet it has quite a story to tell then."

"Yeah, it was probably once on the back of a giant Sea King before it got knocked off onto a pirate ship where…" he went off on his tangent. Banchina laughed in all the right places and smiled with just the right amount of feeling.

"Well, if that's the case, you do well to hold onto it. Wouldn't want such a good tale to go to waste now would we?" He nodded enthusiastically and she smiled gently at him as a comfortable silence fell over them.

Eventually, Banchina broke it with a whispered singing. Usopp listened on intently, transfixed by the freedom resonating from her words.

"_Ho __ni hata ni ketateteru wa dokuro…"_ She sang.

"Mom," Usopp interrupted just as softly, "Dad's coming home soon, right?"

She looked down at him with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yes, he's making his way home right now, you know." Usopp looked up with hope in his eyes as his mother began one of her tales.

_Arashi ga kita zo, senri no sora ni (Now comes a storm through the far-off sky)  
Nami ga odoru yo, DORAMU narase (Now the waves are dancing, beat upon the drums)  
Okubyoukaze ni fukakerya saigo (If you lose your nerve this breath could be your last)  
Asu no asahi ga nai ja nashi (But if you just hold on, the morning sun will rise)_

Sanji remembers…

He was about twelve years old, and he was busy bussing tables. He was here longer than any of those buffoons in the kitchen, yet he was the one on the floor, taking orders and busing tables. Where's the justice in that? Sanji sighed just as a clap of thunder roared throughout the restaurant, startling him and the customers.

"Storms at sea are dangerous things," Zeff said as Sanji made his way back to the kitchen, "but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you Little Eggplant?"

"Shut up shit-geezer! I'm not scared of some stupid storm!"

"Then why are you trembling?"

"It's cold! It's not because I'm scared or anything!"

"Have it your way." He turned and headed back up the stairs, singing as he went.

"_Arashi ga kita zo, senri no sora ni…"_

Sanji heard the light melody and felt immediately calm. After all, what's life without any risk anyway?

Even in his dreams, Zoro remembers…

It was only about a year after he joined the dojo. It was just after Kuina's 500th victory, he was sure of that much at least.

"Just as weak as ever, huh Zoro?" He glared at her as he sat up and wiped the dirt from his face. "Not going to say anything then? I suppose after 500 losses, it's only natural to give up." She smirked at him, which made him glare harder, before turning around and heading back to the dojo while singing.

"_Okubyoukaze ni fukakerya saigo…"_

The song resonated in his blood. It reminded him of seagulls and the ocean and certain swordsmen on it that needed to be defeated in order to realize his goal. He couldn't trip up here, at the first step, not if he wanted to be the best. He grabbed his shinai and ran off to train some more. Kuina looked back and smiled.

_Binkusu no sake o, todoke ni yuku yo (Going to deliver Bink's sake!)  
Kyou ka asu ka to yoi no yume (Today, and tomorrow, our dreams through the night!)  
Te wo furu kage ni, mou aenai yo (Waving our goodbyes, we'll never meet again!)  
Nani wo kuyokuyo, asu mo tsukuyo (But don't look so down, for at night the moon will rise!)_

Chopper remembers…

It was a month or so after Dr. Hiluluk had taken him in. He was finishing up his meal when he heard Doctor singing a peculiar song while he was concentrating hard on his research. Chopper had made it a habit to never disturb the Doctor when he was doing such things, but something about the song made him want to listen to it, so he pulled up a chair behind him, not to close to be an annoyance but still close enough to hear the song, and just sat and listened.

"_Te wo furu kage ni, mou aenai you…"_

Chopper closed his eyes and the image of the ocean came forth. He had seen it a few times but it was too vast and mysterious for him to care all that much about. Now, however, with the song guiding him, Chopper looked out beyond the small island of Drum and began to imagine what else might be out there.

"You like the song, Chopper?"

Chopper was called out of his day dreaming by the Doctor's question. He glanced up warily, expecting to see disdain and annoyance for disturbing the research, but instead found nothing but smiles and good cheer. Chopper relaxed and nodded.

"Yeah, it reminds me of the ocean."

"As it should. It's a pirate song you know."

Chopper tilted his head in confusion. "Pirate?"

"You don't know what a pirate is?" Chopper shook his head. "Sheesh, where have you been all your life to not even know that?"

"Please, Doctor, tell me!"

Hiluluk grinned and began to tell him.

_Binkusu no sake o, todoke ni yuku yo (Going to deliver Bink's sake!)  
DON to icchou utao, unaba wo uta (Let's all sing it with a DON!, a song of the waves)  
Douse dare demo itsuka wa hone yo (Doesn't matter who you are, someday you'll just be bones)  
Hatenashi, atenashi, waraibanashi (Never-ending, ever wandering, our funny traveling tale!)_

Franky remembers…

He was fifteen years old, and was busy at work building the Sea Train. The _Rocketman_ was a complete failure and they had to build a completely new locomotive over from scratch, so tension between the shipwrights was running a tad higher than normal. This normally wouldn't have been much of a problem, but…

"Oi, Bakanky! Watch what you're doing, you almost broke my hand!" Iceburg was just trying to piss Franky off today.

"Maybe you should watch where you're putting your hand, Bakaberg!"

"You two should calm down!" Kokoro was getting a bit fed up with having to intervene all the time.

"Tahahaha," Tom laughed, "Just let them blow off some steam; it'll be good for them!"

"You're trying to build a sea train, and you have a limited time you know!"

"Maybe if Bakanky would pull his act together…"

"Maybe if Bakaberg wasn't being so stupid…"

"Okay, I think we need to take a break right now, before you two do something stupid." Tom wandered over to where Kokoro had lunch. Franky and Iceburg followed, glaring daggers at each other. This behavior continued throughout most of lunch. Needing to break the tension somehow, Tom started singing, soft at first, but it gradually became louder.

"_DON to icchou utao, unaba wo uta…"_

Franky was captivated enough by the master shipwright's song that he turned away from Iceburg and started to listen. "Where's that song from?"

"Tahaha," Tom laughed. "It's just an old sea shanty."

"I like it. It reminds me of the ocean, and home…"

"Looks who's being all poetic…" Iceburg taunted with good-humor.

"Well, we can't all be uncultured slobs." Franky elbowed him in the ribs.

"Says the guy walking around in a Hawaiian shirt and no pants." He elbowed him back, they shared a laugh and went back to work at a productive pace.

Robin remembers…

She was about seventeen, and was hiding in a dark alleyway after betraying yet another criminal organization. The few remaining members were currently hunting her down.

"I saw her run this way!" someone shouted. She heard footsteps getting closer.

_I've got to get out of here_ she thought, and glanced around the alley. Dead end. _Now what?_

All of a sudden Robin heard a noise from deep within the alley. She cautiously crept closer, listening harder to try and hear it while simultaneously keeping an ear on the men chasing her. The noise in the alley turned out to be a song.

"_Hatenashi, atenashi, waraibanashi…"_

The song eventually led her to a back door of some run-down tavern. Luckily for her it was unlocked and there were no customers. Unluckily the owner happened to see her sneaking in just as there was a knock on the door. Robin froze as the old man turned to answer it. She had enough sense to duck behind the counter before the door was opened.

"We're looking for a woman…" she heard one of the men at the door say.

"Aren't we all?" the owner replied.

"This one is one crafty bitch though. She completely screwed us over and left us for dead! You haven't seen her around have you?" there was a rustling of paper, most likely her wanted poster being shown. This was confirmed when a different voice said, "She looks like this, only older."

"No, can't say that I've seen her…" the owner answered. Robin's heart skipped a beat.

"Are you sure? Maybe if we took a look around…"

"You're not coming in here and messing everything up, you'll scare away all my customer! Now shoo, go on, go find your woman!" He succeeded in chasing them away, shut the door, and turned back to Robin, humming once again.

Robin stood up. "Th-thank you…"

"Shouldn't you get going? They'll probably be back." Robin nodded and left through the front door.

_Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,  
Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,  
Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,  
Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,_

Brooke remembers…

He remembers playing with the Rumbar Pirates, entertaining everyone they'd meet on their journey.

He remembers meeting Laboon and how he would always sing along.

He remembers Crocus at the Twin Capes and the senseless partying they did.

He remembers Captain Yorkie, and the last song he played for him before they were forced to part ways.

He remembers the final song of the Rumbar Pirates, still recorded on the tone dial in his head, waiting for Laboon.

He remembers all of these things as he looks around at the Rolling Pirates, partying it up like they just spent the better part of five years hiding in a forest, and at the Strawhat Pirates, doing much of the same.

The Strawhat Pirates, his new nakama.

He looks around and thinks of all the new memories he's going to make, and laughs with a tremendous "Yohoho!" before sitting down at the piano and playing the first thing that's in his head.


	9. A Very Special Sanzo Wedding, Of Sorts

**I've been doing a few op_fanforall prompts over at livejournal and decided to post them here. After editing them, of course, because when I originally wrote them it was 1 AM and I just jotted down whatever came to mind in the little livejournal response box. Needless to say, they are a bit shorter than if I had originally written them in Word.**

**Prompt: **"Two of the crew are in love, have been dating for a while etc and recently decided to get hitched. Celebration ensures. Come the big day both are unfortunately detained somehow. Knowing how upset the couple will be two others decide to marry in their name."

**Pairings: Sanji/Nami, Sanji/Zoro.**

**And, contrary to what some people might be saying, I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

It was finally time: Nami and Sanji were getting married. They had been waiting to get to dry land for weeks and the rest of the crew had just about had it with Sanji's completely obnoxious giddiness, even Nami. Needless to say, everyone was happy about finally reaching the island. Only to be met with a slight problem upon asking around about where to go/what to do to make this thing official:

"Sorry, women can't get married here." The mayor of the town said.

"Why not?!" Nami demanded. "What kind of stupid, pointless law is that anyway?!"

The mayor just shrugged. "Women are un-trustworthy beings. Why should we allow them to enter a state of marriage?"

Stunned silence for a good five seconds before Nami and Sanji lunged at him. Robin was able to restrain them both and drag them away. She took Nami on a shopping trip to help calm her down. While leaving Sanji to wander among the town after making him promise not to attack the mayor, or anyone, for that matter. He agreed, and in his depressed state eventually came to a tavern and decided to go inside. Not surprisingly he found Zoro there and decided to grace the Marimo with his presence.

Zoro just stared at him. "I thought you'd be in the middle of some kind of honeymoon by now."

Sanji sighed and related the woeful tale to his crewmate. "But wait..." Sanji looked at him with new-found inspiration. "You're not a girl..."

"Thanks for noticing."

"No…I mean…what if you pretended to be Nami-san for a bit…"

"I'm not sure if you know this yet, but Nami's a girl. We've already established that I'm not, so…"

"No, I mean, what if we just _said_ you were Nami-san for a bit…"

"But, I'm Zoro. I don't see where you're going with this."

"Would you just marry me already?!"

Zoro preformed a spit take. "E-excuse me?"

"Not for real, just…hear me out. If we say you're name is Nami-san, and then the two of us stand at the altar to appeal to their stupid laws, then technically mine and Nami-san's name on the marriage certificate…so technically, Nami-san and I will be married…"

"But…it would _literally_ be you and me. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure you'd make a good wife and everything-" He got a kick to the head for that.

"Legally, only what's on the paper matters! Nami-san and I can have the ceremonial part on the boat later, but you and I can do the legal part here and now."

Zoro thought about it for half a second. "No."

"Aw come on..."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Sanji sighed. "I guess I have no choice but to describe to you about how this is making me feel in great detail..."

Zoro finished off his mug in one gulp. "So where do we sign up?"

As if standing at the altar with Sanji of all people wasn't bad enough, the damn cook insisted that Zoro wear the dress.

"If women can't get married here anyway, why do the bother to have wedding dresses?" Zoro wondered aloud.

"Just shut up and roll with it."

The ceremony went off without a hitch despite the brief interruption during the vows when Sanji felt the need to add "In sickness, health, and all other states of Marimo-ness" and Zoro-er, _Nami_- felt the need to try and slice his head off. Sanji gladly accepted the completely official marriage certificate pronouncing Sanji and Nami officially married and the two exited the chapel and awkwardly went their separate ways, Zoro to attempt to permanently drink away the memory of the last five hours and Sanji to go receive Nami's thanks again, and again, and again, for the rest of his life, until death do they part.


	10. A Very Special Broanky Wedding, Of Sorts

**I made an obvious blunder with the last prompt, so I decided to re-do it. This is the result. I personally enjoyed writing this one too because I got the use the phrase 'gay necrophilia' without making it sound awkward...or as awkward as it usually sounds.**

**OP_Fanforall Prompt: **"Two of the crew are in love, have been dating for a while etc and recently decided to get hitched. Celebration ensures. Come the big day both are unfortunately detained somehow. Knowing how upset the couple will be two others decide to marry in their name."

**Pairings: Sanji/Nami. Brooke/Franky.**

**And I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

It was supposed to be a happy day. Sanji and Nami had been waiting for it for quite some time, after all, and everyone was tired of the wedding prep. So when the first island they landed on in months just happened to be full of Marines who just happened to capture Sanji and Nami, well, no one was particularly thrilled, to say the least. Getting them out was one thing; getting them married however...

"What kind of chapel closes at 4 anyway?!" Franky shouted. "And they just happen to be taking the rest of the year off?! Who does that!?"

"It's 3:30 now," Robin stated. "Getting back Cook-san and Nami-chan will take more than 30 minutes."

"We don't all have to go get them." Zoro said. "It's not like we'd be in a real pinch if, say, two of us stayed behind."

"I get what you're saying." Franky smiled and nodded. "Well, Robin's the only girl left, so she can play Nami, but-" he was interrupted by Luffy pushing a handful of popsicle sticks in his face.

"Everyone draws so it's fair. Orange-colored tip plays Nami, blue-colored tip Sanji. Everyone else is on Team Jailbreak."

Franky randomly picked one and was disappointed to see an orange tip. He looked around at everyone else who had drawn before him to find that Brook had picked the blue tip one.

"...I'm not wearing the dress." Franky stated.

Turns out he didn't have to. Due to the fact that this island was quite a distance away from the rest, weird and bizarre marriages were always welcome at the friendly neighborhood chapel despite their extremely awkward hours and massive amounts of vacation time. The priest didn't even bat an eyelash when he was asked to marry what appeared to be a gay necrophilia couple.

"Do you, Nami, take Sanji to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The priest asked.

Franky sighed. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Do you, Sanji, take Nami to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Yohoho! Of course I do!" It was Franky's opinion that Brook was enjoying this far too much.

"Then I now pronounce Nami and Sanji officially married. You may kiss the...cyborg…thing"

Brook leaned in, but Franky put a hand on his chest to stop him. "We don't have to go that far, Skeleton. Just give us the certificate making this official." He said, turning to the priest.

The priest shook his head. "Kiss makes it official."

"But...you just pronounced us..." He sighed. "Fine." Next thing he knew he had a mouth full of skull.

Brook and Franky left the chapel with the official marriage license proclaiming Sanji and Nami in and official state of marriage in every sense of the word. Brook was still laughing.

"Yohohohoho!!"

"You're enjoying this a bit too much." Franky felt the need to comment.

"Yohoho, sorry Franky-san, but surely you also find this situation amusing even a little?"

"No I don't." He sighed. "At least this'll shut up Mrs. I-need-my-perfect-dream-wedding-or-else and Mr. Nami-san-needs-her-dream-wedding-or-else. I don't think the Sunny can handle any more bridezilla freak-outs…from either of them."

"That's good! Always look on the bright side! Although I must admit, I am a bid upset that I didn't get to see you in a dress..." Franky punched him in the arm…hard.


	11. I Think We Need to Have a Little Talk

**Another Op_Fanforall thing. Prompt: **"Fic about Oda...make him interact with his characters. I'm sure a few Strawhats would like to have words with him..."

**How could I not think of this?**

**Warning: Small spoilers for Chapter 544.  
**

**I don't own One Piece, Oda, or Weekly Shounen Jump. I'd be uber rich if I was, and if I was uber rich, I wouldn't be writing things like this. I'd be out riding my pony.  
**

* * *

Oda stretched and turned off his desk light. He'd been working on the next chapter for the past 10 hours or so, and it was coming along great, in his opinion. He just hoped the readers liked it as much as he did.

He got up and started to make his way to the bedroom when a delicious smell suddenly and forcefully hit his nose. _Is that fish?_ he wondered, and set off to the kitchen instead to find out.

Poking his head through the door, Oda spied a figure standing over the stove. The figure was clearly male, but the room was dark and the mangaka couldn't see his face, and therefore couldn't judge whether or not he was friend or foe, or if he could take him in a fight.

"Today's dish," the man said, "is Spicy Seafood pasta, with a hint of zest to bring out the shrimp's flavor. You must be hungry after working so hard, Oda-sama."

Oda recognized the voice, panicked, and started to back out of the room, but the man was much faster and backed him against a wall before he got very far. _Why did I give him such long legs...?_

"Oda-sama, I think we need to have a little talk." The man took a drag from his cigarette and blew smoke in Oda's face.

"I...it wasn't...do you no good…can't take it out on...the fans-" A foot embedded itself in the wall a few inches from his head.

"Don't blame the fans for this, Oda-sama. You should take pride in your work with a DON after all." The man reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a copy of Weekly Shounen Jump. His foot was still in the wall.

"It's not...I just...what did you expect me to do with you there?" Oda said desperately.

The man sighed. "You know, I really didn't mind when I lost all that screen time for one reason or another. I didn't complain about my bounty poster. I let you introduce Duval..." he flipped through the magazine pages until he found what he was looking for. "I was even willing to put up with the Okama island for the time being; I knew you were busy with the rest of the plot, and this is a comedy manga after all, but this, Oda-sama," he shoved the page in Oda's face. "This is going too far."

Oda closed his eyes, not wanting to look at it. "T-take it away."

"Oda-sama, you should take pride in your creations with a DON, remember? You wrote those words; shouldn't you practice what you preach?"

"I...the fans...do worse..."

"Oh?" The man smirked around his cigarette. "At least when the fans feel the need to put me in a dress, they pick one out that does my figure justice. This though...what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't...not clearly anyway...I'd take it back-"

"It's already in circulation. Hell, it's already all over the internet! You can't take it back now."

"If there's some way I can make it up to you..." The man removed his foot from the wall and exhaled some more smoke, this time towards the ceiling.

"I want my own movie."

"Pardon?"

"Zoro had a movie. Vivi-chan had a movie. Hell, Chopper had _two_ movies for crying out loud. So I want a movie."

"I...you'll have to talk to Toei about that, I don't get much of a say when it comes to the movies." The foot found its way back into the wall.

"I hear you're having quite a say in the new movie. Besides, you're the creator. I'm sure you'll be able to think of something, right Oda-sama?" He handed him the magazine. The mangaka took it shakily.

"R-right. I'll...figure something out." The man smirked.

"I'm glad we understand each other." The foot removed itself from the wall and a plate of Spicy Seafood Pasta was offered to Oda. "Enjoy your meal, Oda-sama." With that the man turned and left.

Oda slid to the floor, clutching the magazine to his chest with one arm and balancing the plate with the other. Maybe he should rethink the whole 'messing with Sanji' thing...


	12. Thunderstorms and Teacups

**No, I'm not afraid of thunderstorms. There was one last night though and it woke me up. With the internet and cable out and unable to fall back asleep, I was able to jot this down.**

**Enjoy.  
**

**Warnings: None.**

**Pairings: Zosan friendship. Does that really count though?**

**I don't, nor will I ever, own One Piece.**

* * *

BOOM CLAP BOOM

Sanji wasn't sure what forced him into wakefulness, but he was damn sure going to find out. Usopp's and Luffy's snores could usually give a Buster Call a run for its money. Add in Franky's, Brooke's and the Marimo's and not even three Buster Calls, five Alabastian Revolutions, and twelve Enels could compete. He didn't really mind it so much though, unless it cut into his precious sleep time, like now. Sanji swore someoneor several someones were _not_ getting breakfast tomorrow.

BOOM CRASH BOOM

Oh, it's just a thunderstorm. Never mind then.

With the storm going on outside and his crewmates still snoozing away (honestly, those guys could sleep through seven Whiskey Peak parties, nineteen Aqua Laguna, and thirty four of Foxy's laughs) Sanji decided that sleep was impossible at this point and decided to go to the kitchen to get something to eat.

He braved the storm on deck and reached the galley in one piece. After he closed the door, however, he heard something move in the corner. He saw the light on in the crow's nest, so it wouldn't be Brooke who, unfortunately, had watch tonight, so Sanji cautiously raised a foot and turned on the lights.

Zoro winced as the light was turned on. "Oi, what was that for?"

Sanji put his foot down and glared at him. "What the hell are you doing here Marimo?"

The man in question shrugged. "Nothing really." Another crash of thunder had him shivering in his lone corner.

Sanji sighed and walked over to stand in front of the swordsman. "Don't tell me you're afraid of thunderstorms…are you?"

"Che. Of course not." A crackle of lighting followed by a crash of thunder somehow found Zoro wrapped around Sanji.

The blonde blinked. "You have three seconds to get off of me before I remove you by force." Zoro blushed a little and obeyed silently but mustered up enough pride to glare back. "Not afraid my ass."

Stubborn to a tee, the green-haired man turned away and replied, "You were just in my way is all." Another crash of thunder, another shiver from the swordsman.

Sanji observed the situation with a careful eye. On the one hand, it was interesting, to say the least, seeing the oh-so-mighty-and-proud Zoro being forced shivering into a corner by nothing more than a few raindrops and a very loud sound (and a deadly burst of electricity randomly falling from the sky, but that only hits once). A more perfect chance to rub it in the swordsman's face would never be presented to Sanji. On the other hand though, Zoro was, if nothing else, nakama, and the needs of his friends always came first in Sanji's book. Well, maybe second. The needs of ladies usually came first, but if he had to choose between Nami's needs or the needs of some passing lady on the street, he would definitely choose his Nami-swan's.

With that Sanji walked over to the stove and started boiling water in a kettle.

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sanji reached up into the cabinet and grabbed some teabags.

"It looks like you're making tea." The chef grabbed two teacups and placed the teabags inside.

"Then I guess I'm making tea, shithead." He turned to face his companion while the water finished boiling.

Zoro blinked. "Why?"

Sanji shrugged. "I dunno. It's soothing to have in the middle of a storm and it'll help calm you down."

"I am calm!" BOOM! Zoro shivered.

"Clearly."

"That one rocked the entire ship!"

"We're at sea; the ship is always rocking." The kettle whistled so Sanji turned around and poured the boiling water into the cups. He walked over to the table, blowing on his a little to cool it off along the way. When he was seated next to Zoro, he offered the other man the other cup.

"I don't need it."

"Stop being a baby and just take it." Zoro did something with his lips that would have been called a pout had it been anybody else performing it, but ended up taking the cup from the other man. He even went so far as to sip it a little.

"S'all right."

Sanji took a sip out of his too. "Brings back memories. This blend's like the one the old man used to make for me when I'd get scared during thunderstorms back on the Baratie."

Zoro snickered. "You were scared of thunderstorms."

A curly-eyebrow twitched. "You of all people have no right to judge. I was actually a kid at the time and had the valid reason of the fact that a storm _threw_ me off of a ship and caused me to almost starve to death." Zoro shut up after that. Sanji sipped some more tea and continued.

"He'd make me the tea, then sit me down and try to calm me down by talking to me. If that failed he just resorted back to kicking me in the head. Either way, eventually I would fall asleep, and the next morning I'd be back in my bed and the storm would have passed. Eventually my fear of thunderstorms went away by itself."

Zoro finished drinking his tea, placed his cup down on the table and asked, "And what does this have anything to do with anything at all?"

Sanji finished his tea and followed suit. "Just making the point that it's usually a step backwards to isolate yourself if you're scared."

"I'm not-"

"_Or_ maybe I'm just saying that sometimes it's nice to have a friend." BOOM.

"I don't need-"

"You stopped shivering haven't you?"

"It…it's just warm in here. I was cold before. S'the tea's fault."

The cook smirked. "Ah, but who was it that made the tea? You can just call me Mr. Prince: Savior of Damsels and Various Forms of Plant Life in Distress." Zoro punched him in the arm. Sanji just laughed. "So, little Marimo-chan, are you ready for bed now?"

"Yes _Mom_, I should be fine now." He sauntered past him and headed off to the men's quarters. Sanji smiled, decided to let his little slip-up go unnoticed and followed after him.


	13. Hosts vs Pirates

**I hit my head the other day. Let's blame this mess on that.**

**You know you're too into One Piece when your listening to Shou Tamaki's character song and all you can think about is Sanji's character song. That's the basic thought process that brought this to life. That and I'm a secretly love cross-overs. I might do a more serious Ouran/One Piece cross-over later...or an even stupider one. Whatever works.**

**One Piece and it's respective characters, songs, w/e belong to several people/groups that are not me as do Ouran High School Host Club's respective characters, songs, w/e.  
**

* * *

"This might have been a bad idea." Usopp stated.

"_Take my hand, take the key_

_You can open the door._

_Take a chance, take a step._

_Now you'll find there's so much more."_

The blonde onstage sang out.

"Really? What gives you that idea?" Franky asked, sarcasm dripping from every word. "Is it the fact that not only did Luffy choose the only one on their side that can play a musical instrument, but as it turns out Vic Mignogna voices him?!"

"Who knew Vic could sing anyway?" Luffy asked with a pout.

"He sang our friggn' theme song!" Franky shouted back.

"Twice." Robin added, turning the page in her book.

"_I kneel before you, kiss your hand to_

_Tell you I'm a lucky guy._

_Look back and I know that I can heal your tired heart."_

Excessive dance moves were added to the singing that the crowd of scream girls completely ate up.

"This is all your fault." Zoro turned and stared pointedly at Nami.

"My fault?! How exactly is this my fault?"

"You're the one who agreed to all of their stupid conditions for an extra 5 million thrown into the pot."

"They seemed reasonable at the time…especially for that sum of money."

"How does coming to _their_ school and using _their _fan-girls as judges sound REASONABLE?!"

"Zoro…" she whimpered, tears starting to form in her eyes. "It's the glasses guy…he can twist his words so well…you don't have to say such hurtful things…"

"Save it. I'm not your love cook." He promptly got a smack to the head.

"You'd rather have me turn down the extra money?!"

"It only counts if we win anyway!"

"We could still win…" He gestured towards the stage.

"_So I say, the price I must pay_

_Is to offer up my heart forever._

_Just don't take away your touch, 'cause it means so much_

_To feel your hand in mine._

_Guilty, Beauty, Love." _

He winked and arbitrarily blew a kiss into the crowd. The girls went wild.

"Do you still think so?" Zoro continued.

"You're right, it's hopeless." Usopp jumped in. "We're going to become their dogs for the rest of our days! Might as well, try to make a run for it now…c'mon Chopper, let's go."

"Mmmph mmmmphmm mffmm." The reindeer replied.

"Reindeer-gorilla!" Franky shouted. "Why are you fraternizing with the enemy?!" Chopper swallowed his mouthful.

"I can't help it! The cake just looked so delicious and he offered!"

"Do you want some too, Cyborg-chan?" The small third year offered a plate of fluffy, pink, cake to the hulking cyborg.

"N-no thanks kid. I'm…full." The memory (and bruises) of how they got coerced into this mess in the first place was still fresh.

"Yey! More for me and Usa-chan! Oh, and Tony-chan too!" He proceeded to shove several forkfuls of cake into his mouth.

"After sailing with Luffy, it shouldn't surprise me, and yet…" Usopp shuddered, "There's just something not right about being able to eat that much cake."

"_In the sky, you and I_

_Are floating in space._

_I the moon, you the sun,_

_Locked in beautiful embrace."_

"We might be able to win this." Robin said suddenly.

"What are you talking about, Robin? He's got the crowd eating out of his hand! There's no way Sanji of all people can compete with that, he can't sing _that _well." Usopp said. "Brooke maybe, seeing as he's a musician and all that, but Sanji's a chef!"

"That is probably why they chose him. After all, they don't which of us is which; Tamaki-kun picked the competitor based on our occupations, just like Luffy-san had to choose between their types."

"And you just _had _to pick the King!" Nami smacked him on the head.

"I'm gonna be the Pirate King, so why shouldn't I take down their King?"

"THIS IS A SINGING CONTEST!!" Several lumps somehow appeared on Luffy's head.

"It does not seem to be all about singing though, does it?" Robin asked, smiling mysteriously all the while.

"What are you talking about Nico Robin?" Franky said. "This is a singing contest! Of course it's all about singing!"

"No, it's about impressing the judges…" Nami said thoughtfully, "and Sanji-kun may be just the guy to pull it off."

"_What a crime! Such a wonderful crime!_

_That god would choose to make such lips as mine._

_It was wrong, but all the same, I invited and you came_

_Into this dream with me."_

Usopp!" She pointed at the sniper, making him jump. "Search the school and find me a fedora!"

"For what?"

"Don't question your navigator!"

"R-right!" He sped out of the music room in a heartbeat.

"Zoro!" She turned her attention to him. "Search the room for a piano, a drum set, and a saxophone."

"Why would they be in here?"

"This is a _music_ room, there bound to be in here somewhere." He got up, muttered something incomprehensible that got him a kick to the head and a "Don't talk about Nami-swan like that!" and started looking around. "Luffy, help him."

"Got it!" He bounded across the room and started tearing through random cabinets.

"Brooke!" She faced him. "Can you play all the instruments Zoro's looking for?"

"Of course."

"…at the same time?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Not the drum set. It's hard to keep a steady beat when trying to pull off the melody and counter-melody on two different instruments. Zoro-san might be able to pull it off if you need a drummer though."

"Perfect. Robin, can you make subtitles?"

"Already done."

"I knew I could count on you. Franky! Find me one of those uniforms that they're wearing!"

"On it!" He lowered his sunglasses and took off into the hallway after Usopp. Screams soon erupted.

"And put some pants on too! Ug, never mind. Sanji-kun?"

"Yes, my beautiful Nami-san? Delight of my heart, angel of my-"

"Yes, that's nice, come over here so I can work on your look."

"~3 Of course!~3"

"_Even so, it's fair to say, I've still found a way,_

_To cast my spell on you._

_Guilty, Beauty, Heart."_

The blonde ended the song with a dramatic twirl that left the girls screaming for more. After indulging his fans with a few more kisses and just his general presence on stage, he leapt offstage.

"Well, I think it's safe to see this one's in the bag."

"Right! Beautiful performance boss." One of the orange haired twins said.

"You actually did something right for once." His brother added.

"Then again, it'd be pretty hard for even an idiot like him to screw this up." The first twin said.

"Yes, I am pretty amazing like that." The blonde went on, oblivious. "Haruhi!" He promptly turned his attention to the only female in the group. "How do you think your Daddy did? Did my lovely song just capture your heart? You're probably madly in love with me right now, aren't you?"

"It was alright, Tamaki-sempai." She said, playing with her tie, "It could be enough to beat them, considering chefs can't really sing."

"Unless they're singing chefs." One twin stated.

"Cute, blonde, singing chefs." Said the other.

"Wearing fedoras."

"And…is that the Ouran uniform?"

"Nicely altered. I knew that girl had a sense of style."

"Might not be so easy after all." The twins each linked arms with the girl and proceeded to turn in a circle singing, "_Boss is gonna lose, boss is gonna lose._"

"They…they can't do that!" The blonde turned to his friend in the eye glasses. "That's stealing! They can't do that, right Kyoya?"

"We did say they could use whatever they found lying around, so yeah, they can do that. Don't worry; it's going to take more than that to turn your fan-girls. Why else do you think I have them of all people as the judges? Try whatever they may, they will not, no, cannot possible hope to win."

"So sneaky." The girl commented after she broke free from the twins who went to go see whatever else their competitors had up their sleeves. "I knew Kyoya-sempai was sneaky, but to go that far…"

"Look!" One of the twins shouted, "They found a piano!" CRASH!

"And now they've dropped the piano." The other said.

"But, the guy with no pants is fixing it…has fixed it."

"Looks like the skeleton's going to be playing said piano."

"They can't do that!" The blonde said to his friend who was writing in his notebook. "Tell them they can't do that! It's only supposed to be the cook onstage!"

"The cook's the only one who's supposed to be singing. They can have other's playing backup."

"Maybe he's not the musician…" The skeleton sat down and started warming up. After a few seconds it was quite clear he was indeed the musician.

"We're dead."

"Some skeletal musician isn't going to change your fan-girls opinion any. You've still got this, so just sit back and relax."

"I guess you're right…"

* * *

After Brooke finished warming up on piano and saxophone and gave Zoro a crash course in drumming he signaled to Sanji that he could come on stage.

He gulped and slowly backed away from the stage. The silky uniform that Nami-san had generously altered to fit him all of a sudden felt too warm and too tight and made him too nauseous and…

"Don't tell me you have stage fright, Sanji-kun?"

"O-of course not! The fact that if I screw up we're all going to become the dogs for some high school host club and you will lose all of that money would in no way, shape, or form make me nervous!"

"Good, because it's show time now." She gave him a small push onto the stage.

He managed to quickly regain his balance before strutting over to the microphone. He faced the completely silent crowd before turning and nodding to Brooke. The skeleton cracked his fingers and started playing. After a few bars, Sanji cleared his throat and began:

"_Ote o douzo, honey. (Take my hand, honey.)_

_Boku no romantic dinner e...yokozou. (Welcome to my romantic dinner.)_

_Yorokonde, honey. (Be happy, honey.)_

_Okini mesu mama, kino muku mama (Take it easy, relax)_

_Main dish meshiagare. (Taste my main dish.)_

Tadashi, desserto, wasurenaide. (But, don't forget your dessert.)"

The girls in the crowd were speechless, eyes wide with wonder.

"They're quiet," Luffy stated, "is that a good thing?"

"For now, yes." Robin answered.

The tempo picked up as Zoro entered on the drums. Sanji smirked and danced along with the music before continuing.

"_Shiyokoji no mae dewa minna byodo, (Before the food everyone is equal,)_

_Sorega boku no saitei no manna. (That's my worst manner.)_

_Onna no ko ni wa chyanto aijyowo, (I'll give my affection to the girls,)_

_Sore ga boku no gokujyono binaa. (That's my best service.)_

Soon, the girls started cheering and swooning. As they started getting louder, Sanji got a bit more confident with his movements onstage.

"Curly-cook's doing good." Franky commented.

"Better than I expected." Robin added.

"Mm. My magwee." Chopper said.

"Stop eating cake!" Nami hissed.

"_Baby, kimi egao ni sasageyo, (Baby, I shall give it for your smile,)_

_Kanderu melody, knife and fork. (Playing this melody, knife, and fork.)_

_Baby, deatta kisaki o aijyawoo. (Baby, let's enjoy the fate we meet.)_

_Jyama suru yastu wa, kick and down! (If someone stands in our way, kick and down!)"_

It was at this point when Brooke pulled out the saxophone.

"Is…is he playing with his feet?" The girl asked. The man with the glasses nodded.

"He is, in fact, playing the piano with his feet so he can play the sax with his hands."

"Skelly-chan's not missing a note on either instrument either." The boy eating the cake put in. His stoic companion nodded.

"Seems they picked a song that can showcase not only the cook's ability to sing and look sexy, but also the musician's ability too." One of the twins said. The other nodded.

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"_Maman no mae de wa minna ga kodomo, (In front of mothers, everyone is a child,)_

_Sore tto onaji sa hitsuyo fukakezu (It's the same thing, it's necessary.)_

_Kirei na monno ni wa minna kaei wo (I shall polish and shine the beautiful things)_

_Sorega boku no, sekai no rule. (That's my absolute rule.)"_

Every run Brooke played on the sax, emphasized with every overly-dramatic twirl from Sanji, caused the girls' screaming and cheering to increase with volume.

"You know," Usopp commented, "Zoro's actually really good at drumming."

"That is most likely due to his swordsman skills." Robin replied. "He is consistently trying to find his own rhythm or trying to find his opponents rhythm so he can break it."

"I guess that makes sense…"

"_Baby, tsuki no kofune de sasayako, (Baby, I shall whisper like a moon,)_

_Torokeru sorube pink & green (Melting pink and green.)_

_Baby, mayotta koneko ni komori uta. (Baby, just like a lullaby for a lost kitten.)_

_Urusai yatsu ni kick & down! (Annoying people are good enough for kick and down!)"_

Punctuated with an actual kick that sent the mic stand flying, this sent the girls into a frenzy of sorts.

"I may have underestimated them." The spectacled man noted.

"Ya think?" The twins said simultaneously.

The music slowed back down as the drums stopped. Sanji let Brooke get a little fancy with the piano before he sang again. The music slowed back down as the drums stopped. Sanji let Brooke get a little fancy with the piano before he sang again.

"_Ote o douzo, honey. (Take my hand, honey.)_

_Boku no dramatic dinner e yookoso. (Welcome to my dramatic dinner.)_

_Yorokonde, honey. (Be happy, honey.)_

_Kokkoro yuku made, kino sumu made. (Take it easy, relax.)_

_Akai wine de yoi shirete. (Become lightheaded by the red wine.)_

_Soshite, dessert o wasurenaide... (And, don't forget your dessert…)"_

The entrance of the drums for the last few bars, along with more of Brooke's fancy piano work/sax work at the end succeeded in bringing the girls into a frenzy of the likes of which have never been seen.

"Sanji-sama!! We love you!!"

Sanji merely took his (overly-dramatic) bow, tossed his fedora into the swooning fans, and strutted offstage. Brooke and Zoro followed.

"~3 Nami-swaan! Did you hear? That song was dedicated especially for you! ~3" He looked around for the navigator. "Eh? Where did she go?"

"She's talking to that weird guy over there. Something about money." Luffy said while eating cake.

"Yeah, Kyo-chan's really shocked that you managed to beat Tama-chan at his own game." The Lolita boy added before shoving more cake in his mouth.

"So that's 20 million-"

"_25_ million." Nami corrected.

"25 million then." He counted up the money and handed it over to the Strawhat navigator.

"Yes! What, aren't you upset about just handing this much over to pirates?"

"Please, there's plenty more where that came from." He turned and started walking away.

"Wait…what's this?!" Nami shouted, shaking the money in her hand.

"Your ¥25 million."

"Yen? Yen?! The agreement was for 25 million _berri_, not yen!"

The man pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "Berri? You know, I don't recall the actuall _currency_ the money was to be in being mentioned at all." He turned and continued his exit.

"That no good, thieving bastard!" She shouted. "Besting me at my own game, ARG!" She punched the nearest object, which happened to be Sanji (shouts of "~Mellorine~" followed).

"Anyone know the exchange rate of yen to berries?"


	14. And Then There's This

**What can I say? It's been a long week. This had actually floating around in my head for a while though, but I might have over did the angst a little. At least that plot bunny will leave me alone now.**

**Whatever. Enjoy.**

**Warnings: Poorly executed angst.**

**And I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

He looked at the faces of his crewmates, completely mortified, as he lowered his left leg, the heat dispersing with a soft hiss.

Luffy was the only one still standing. Chopper had been knocked overboard near the beginning and Usopp dove in to save them. They hadn't returned to the deck yet, but he thought that it might have been for the better. Brooke and Franky were unconscious, burn marks from his previous attacks covering their bodies almost as much as the blood, his, theirs, and the others. Zoro was probably still conscious, it would take more than a few flaming kicks to the head to knock him out, but he was down, and, from the looks of things, not getting up anytime soon.

The girls were the only ones still unharmed, but that really didn't mean very much. Robin was knocked out before the others knew there even was an attack, and all Nami could do at this point was cower in fear of her rampaging crewmate.

"Sanji…" Luffy panted. "You…you've got to fight it!"

"What do you think I've been trying to do?!" Another vicious kick was aimed at his captain, who thankfully managed to dodge just in time.

Using that as a distraction, Nami managed to pick up her Climatact and start rushing the man behind the destruction of her friends.

"Nice try, girlie, but you're going to have to do better than that." With a twitch of his hand he sent Sanji off running towards her. He placed a well-timed kick that would have connected if Luffy hadn't pushed her out of the way at the last second.

"Knew it…" A soft voice sounded from behind him. He was able to turn his head enough to see that it was Zoro speaking, who had managed to push himself up into a semi-sitting position. "Knew that chivalry shit of yours was just all talk."

"Oh, are you still alive? Shall we finish him off then?" The man grinned while he moved his fingers in a quick, circular motion, forcing him to do the same."

"Bring it on…shit-cook." Zoro had managed to stand up and find two of his swords.

"Zoro! Stop it, this isn't helping!" Nami screamed. Zoro ignored her and took a fighting stance.

He had stopped spinning now, left foot raised off the ground, poised to attack. Zoro took a step forward before reaching his limit and collapsing on the ground.

"Well, that makes things easier for us." Another twitch of that hand and he was sent hurdling forward, burning foot raised just above his friend's head.

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!" Luffy proceeded to charge the man this time, to no avail, as he too was finally sent crashing overboard with a well placed fiery kick.

"LUFFY!!" Both he and Nami shouted. He tried to put his foot down and jump overboard to save him, but he was held back.

"I believe you still have one more left." He was turned to face Nami, burning leg still in the air. She backed away from him until she hit the railing and glanced overboard briefly before turning back to face him.

"Y-you won't kick me, Sanji-kun." She stated, not breaking eye contact once. He could still see the absolute terror in her eyes though, and a pang of guilt at being the cause burned sharply in his stomach.

"Ha! Girlie, have you been paying any attention to what's been going on here?" The man used the arm that wasn't controlling her friend to gesture around the ship where her fallen comrades were. "What he does or does not want to do has no meaning anymore. He's _mine_ now."

He tried to glare at the fiend tormenting his Nami-swan when the sound of a Climatact hitting the ground found his ears. He turned back to face Nami, surprised to see all of the fear from before replaced with complete trust.

She shook her head. "Sanji-kun, you're my friend. I know him a lot better than that Shichibukai or whatever over there does." The navigator closed her eyes, sighed, and then looked back into his, searching for something. When she found whatever it was she said, "I know you won't hurt me."

"This would be the part where I prove you wrong, just so you know." He twitched his hand, causing the burning appendage to go sailing towards Nami's head. She closed her eyes and twitched away from the flames, but made no other movements to get out of the way or defend herself.

He closed his eyes too, waiting to feel the crack and burn of her skull against the power of his foot, just like the others.

But it never came.

Slowly he opened his eyes, hoping beyond a hope that she somehow managed to get out of the way in time.

Nami was still in front of him, unharmed. Sobbing with relief, that all-knowing smirk that he found so adorable on her face, but unharmed. His foot was an inch from her face, the heat from it painting her skin a tad pink, but causing her no immediate hurt.

He carefully put his own foot down, relishing in the soft hiss that the action caused, and turned to face the man who had snuck onto their ship in the middle of the night and tried to eliminate them in the cruelest way possible.

"Now, shitty Shichibukai," he said, pulling out and lighting a cigarette, "let me show you how to fry a flamingo."


	15. Scars

**This one has actually been rolling around in my head for a while. As such it has more cheese than a box of Kraft and more fluff than a Build-A-Bear Workshop. Especially near the end.**

**I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Warnings: Just some cheesy fluff.**

**Pairing: SanjixNami**

**And I've never owned One Piece. But it owns my soul.  
**

* * *

SPLASH!

_There goes idiot number one, _she thought.

"Luffy-san!"

"I'll save you!"

SPLASH! SPLASH!

_And there go numbers two and three._

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH!

She, Franky, and Robin looked over at the railing where the other three jumped in the water to save their idiotic crewmates. A few minutes later found Brooke dragged on board by Usopp with Robin's help, Zoro carrying Chopper as he jumped back on deck, and Luffy kicked back with Sanji landing gracefully on top of him.

"You devil fruit users are really very troublesome." He said, enunciating with a drop kick to Luffy's abdominal and forcing out the remaining water.

"Especially you two…" Usopp added with a pant, pointing at Brooke and Chopper. "We don't need…the extra work…trying to haul you guys up either."

After the appropriate "I'm sorrys" and subsequent whacks/kicks to several heads, the crew of the Thousand Sunny went back to their normal activities. "Idiots, the lot of them." Nami muttered under her breath as she settled back into her lawn chair and flipped through her book.

"And now my shirt is probably ruined too! Damnit Luffy, Nami-san just bought me this."

She peeked over the edge of her book, _not_ because she knew Sanji was taking his shirt off now which is something he hardly ever does, but because if he was complaining about his shirt being ruined he's probably going to ask for a new one and she needed to assess the damage to figure out if it was really worth it. Yes, that was it.

He turned towards the railing, wringing his shirt out overboard, with his back facing her chair. As Nami scanned up his back, she noticed a pale white scar near the base of his spine. Vaguely wondering how Sanji had gotten it when he was hardly ever attacked from behind, she continued her scanning until an angry, red scar on his left shoulder jumped out at her.

Before she realized what she was doing, Nami had put her book down on the table, stood up, and walked over to where Sanji was. She lightly traced the white scar, causing the chef to jump slightly and turn his head.

"Nami-san? What are you…?"

"You got this on Drum…" the navigator suddenly remembered. "During the avalanche, when you carried me up the mountain."

It took him a moment to realize what exactly she was talking about. When it hit him, he turned away, blushing slightly, and said, "Luffy's the one who carried you."

"He wouldn't have gotten very far without you." She stated matter of factly, causing him to blush more. Her finger trailed up his back until they reached the red scar. She pressed lightly down, causing a sharp intake of air from the blonde chef. "What happened here?"

"N-nothing that someone as lovely as you needs to worry about. Just an old battle wound."

"Old? It looks pretty recent. You wouldn't lie to me Sanji-kun, would you?" She pressed a bit harder on the scar causing a poorly muffled gasp.

"O-of course not!"

"It looks like a stab wound." She observed. "Did someone stab you on Thriller Bark, Sanji-kun?"

"No. Why would-"

"I think you are lying, Sanji-kun. I suppose I could go ask Chopper, if you-"

"It was that invisible-pervert. He pulled a knife on me when we were fighting."

The red-head paused, fingers slightly touching the scar. That certainly wasn't what she was expecting.

"When did you…?"

He hung his shirt on the railing to grab at it. "You were unconscious, so you wouldn't remember. Do you really think that I would just let him whisk you off and marry you without putting up some kind of fight?"

Looking back, Nami realized it was obvious that Sanji would try everything in his power to try and get her back from that perverted lion-freak, but it still made her wonder more than ever why she woke up alone in the church. It couldn't be that Sanji actually…

"I kicked his shitty ass into oblivion and got you back," he began cutting her thoughts short, "but then Odz interrupted and, like the bastard he is, he stole you back."

So the chef had gotten to him first after all. _That explains why he went down after one lightning bolt._ Nami concluded. _He really did save me after all._

She slowly wrapped her arms around the blonde, brining him into a hug. He stiffened as the navigator's finger found yet another scar on his chest.

"Sanji-kun…" She said hesitantly, feeling that this scar was much bigger than the other two, "what's this one from? I don't remember you getting hit that bad in the front…except when…" Nami dropped her arms to her side and took a step back. "Sanji-kun, turn around please."

Never one to deny a lady anything Sanji obeyed. Nami was greeted with the sight of a ragged blotch of a scar, angry red in the middle that faded to almost pink by the edges. She took a step forward and put her hand on it. "Funny…I didn't think lightning could scar."

"Yeah, well, neither did Chopper."

"It's pretty close to your heart. The stab wound was too."

"They wouldn't find it there." Sanji let go of the railing to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. "Cause my heart's wherever you happen to be."

Nami blushed a little at that. "Yeah, and every other pretty face you've happened to have met."

"No, not really." He pulled her closer. "Just you."

The red-head was happy he couldn't see her face buried into his chest. She managed to heave a sigh. "Stupid. I'm not worth getting this hurt over."

"I think you are."

"No, Sanji-kun," she pulled back to look him in his eye, "I'm not worth you dying over."

Sanji's eye seemed to go distant, as if he was thinking of something else as he pushed one of her orange strands behind her ear and softly replied, "Nakama, right?"

Nami smiled. "Of course." She lightly kissed the center of the lightning scar on his chest only to realize that six pairs of eyes and one pair of eye sockets were watching this transaction take place.

"I, um, gotta map something. Seeya." The navigator promptly broke free from the cook and headed up to the library, shooting a glare at a snickering Robin on her way.

Sanji watched her leave with a look of longing on his face only to be dragged back to reality by a Luffy clinging to him and saying, "Saaanji, I'm huuuuuungry."

"You just ate five minutes ago!"

"Yeah, but now I'm hungry again!"

"It's because you just took a swim in the ocean!"

"Yeah probably. So you gonna make me something?"

Robin merely sighed and shook her head as the silence was filled with the sounds of her hungry captain and her resisting cook.

"Some things may never change." She said quietly as she turned the page.


	16. Sleeping Over

**Little known fact that you probably won't care about/recall nor would you be expected to: I am a very light sleeper**. **So light in fact, that if someone ****down the hall ****is ****breathing too loudly then I have trouble falling asleep. My semi-conscious mind managed to link that to this one night, but it's Frobin and it's Sana and it's fluffy so it should be all good. **

**Enjoy.**

**Pairings: Frobin, SaNa**

**I don't own One Piece.  
**

* * *

Not much had changed since Franky and Robin officially became an item. Just, when one or the other had watch at night, it was in the rest of the crew's best interest to go to bed early, and when Franky's Workshop door was locked you did not enter. You were not even within twenty feet of it. Oh, and Robin now slept in the boys' room.

It was hard trying to get privacy on a ship that housed nine people, so while Robin was willing and didn't complain about having to sleep with the boys, Nami still felt guilty about having the room all to herself. After all, it was Robin's room too, and she needed the privacy it gave even more than she did. Even so, when she made her offer to the couple they were still uneasy about putting her out.

"Are you sure, Nami-chan?" Robin had asked. "You do not have to give up your room just to give us some privacy."

"Yeah, girlie," Franky added, "we're fine just waiting for the next island."

"No, I insist. Robin sleeps there almost every night, so how bad could it really be? And don't call me girlie."

And so, Nami found herself now facing a pack of screaming boys in the middle of the night.

"Sleepover time!!" Luffy shouted. "Nami's sleeping over tonight!! Party!!"

"Party!!" Usopp seconded, joining Luffy in some strange dance around the room.

"Party!" Chopper added as he tried to join in, but it was rather late, and he was rather tired, so he wasn't as into it as his friends were.

Zoro just sitting on the couch smirking at her dilemma and Brooke playing his violin in the middle of the chaos did most certainly not help Nami's ever growing headache in anyway.

"QUIET!" She shouted, abruptly ended the party before it got underway. "We've slept in the same room before, so there's not need to make a big deal out of it this time!"

"Yeah, but now it's our room. And as the captain of this room, I say PARTY!!" Luffy shouted.

"You're the captain of the whole ship…" Zoro muttered. Nami punched his head. "What was that for?!"

"You're not helping!"

"Well what do you want me to do?!"

"Get them to bed!" She turned away him and looked around the room. Definitely not like her and Robin's room. Where their room was neat and tidy the boys' was smelly and disgusting.

"Why is there a pile of dirty laundry in the middle of the floor?" She asked.

"Um, it was like that when we got here." Usopp answered.

"You were the first ones here!" How can Robin put up with this?

"Oi, Nami." She turned to the green-haired bane of her existence, who was sitting on the couch still, feet on the table, arms behind his head, one eye cracked open.

"What."

"Where do you want to sleep tonight?" He asked.

She blinked. That was one of the last things she had expected him to say to her. "What?"

"Where do you want to sleep?" He gave her the curtsey of opening both of his eyes and sitting upright. "You're technically a guest so it's only fair you get first pick."

Of course, she realized, with only six beds and seven people, someone would have to sleep on the couch. "But…since Sanji-kun has first watch, would he just automatically get the couch?"

"Yohoho! Usually, whoever has first watch just takes the bed of whoever has second watch." Brooke answered. "Exceptions include Luffy-san, who for some reason always wants the top bunk right next to the lockers and Usopp-san who generally always takes the bunk bellow him."

"And that prissy cook," Zoro added, "who always wants the upper-middle one."

"If they're so picky," Nami wondered, "why don't you just assign bunks?"

Zoro shrugged. "We kinda do. I take the one under the cook, Franky and Robin take the one next to me, and Chopper has the one above them. Brooke takes whoever's on watch's bed."

"Tonight though, I'll just take Franky-san's bunk, unless you want it of course, because Sanji-san is a bit picky about his bed."

"If you have an order to this already, then why offer me a bed?"

"You can have mine, Chopper's, or Brooke's if you want; we really don't care where we sleep. That idiot would give up his bed for you if you wanted anyway, so he doesn't count, and I'm sure if you could 'convince' Usopp or Luffy to give up their beds somehow if that's what you wanted, so really, the choice is yours."

Nami was rather taken aback by the sudden offer. She probably would have just taken one of their beds anyway whether they liked it or not, but when they actually _offered_ to move…

"This couch is comfy enough. Besides you all probably got your sweaty man drool all over the beds already."

Zoro looked surprised for a moment before he hid behind a well placed smirk. "Suit yourself then. Oi." He stood and turned to face the other three rolling around on the floor. "I'm going to sleep now." He stalked off and climbed into his bunk.

They gulped in unison and ran off to their respective bunks. "Good night, Zoro!" they chanted before three heads hit three pillows. Nami vaguely wondered what Zoro had done/said in the past to get them to respond like that before deciding that she really didn't want to know.

"You know, Nami-san." Brooke asked as he put the lanterns out. "Since we're sharing close quarters tonight and all, would it be possible if I could see you-"

"Like hell!" She accompanied her exclamation with a punch to his afro.

"Yohoho! Still thought I should try, all the same!" He twirled off to his own bunk.

Nami lay down on the couch and wrapped some of the extra blankets around her. She snuggled up against the extra pillows that someone had put out for her and started to drift off to dreamland. Until she was pushed into wakefulness by what only could be described as two trains hitting a bulldozer.

One couldn't go on the Sunny's deck most days without hearing Zoro's obnoxiously loud snoring, so after hearing it for weeks on end while in the middle of mapping out their course, Nami had gotten used to it. Chopper's snoring, on the other hand, which sounded akin to a forest of trees suddenly crashing to the ground, was something new to the navigators ears. So was Brooke's high-pitched whistle accompanied by his signature laugh ever now and then, Luffy's snore punctuated with what she could only assume to be extremely loud dream eating, and Usopp, who somehow managed to not only snore, but talk and grind his teeth in his sleep at the same time.

Nami tossed and turned trying to get some sleep, but had trouble just escaping the noise. Just as the choir of sleep sounds was hitting its crescendo, Sanji came into the room, back from his watch. Nami turned to face the back of the couch, not wanting to deal with him in her aggravated state as he made his way over to her. Assuming she was asleep, he placed something on the table by her head, fixed the blankets, and walked away. Slightly curious, she turned a bit and tilted her head to watch him. The blonde walked over to Chopper's bunk, climbed up the first few rungs on the ladder, and gently nudged him awake. After he helped the small reindeer out of bed and gave him some coffee, he promptly walked over to his own bunk, kicked off his shoes and fell straight to sleep.

The navigator was not only stunned that the chef was able to fall asleep so quickly with all this noise (he was probably used to it by now anyway) but also because he _wasn't snoring at all_. In fact, he wasn't making any noise whatsoever. Intrigued, Nami sat up and noticed the cup of mikan flavored tea he had brought for her. Touched by the gesture, she finished it off before going over to Sanji's bedside to make sure he hadn't died.

He was still alive, but more importantly, when Nami had reached his bedside, she discovered that it was quite save for Zoro's snores in the bunk above. _So this is why he always wants this bunk,_ she thought, sitting down on the side of the bed. _Due to its positioning and where everyone else sleeps, the only one he'll hear is Zoro, and he's listening to him snore all day! Sneaky bastard…_

"Nami-san?" She looked down to see one sleepy blue eye staring back up at her. "Need s'mthing?" Sanji asked as he sat up.

"N-no," Nami responded, flustered that she was caught, "I-I was just-"

"Wanna sleep here?" He asked, turning to get out of bed. "I know those shitheads can be a bit loud." He yawned loudly and stood up, but stopped abruptly when he felt a tug on his shirt sleeve.

"Um…" she said, suddenly at a loss for words. "It's your bed, and you need your sleep now."

"Nami-san, you need sleep too."

"I know, but, um…" the orange haired girl looked at the floor. "Maybe…we could share it?" she finished hesitantly.

Sanji was too tired to go into full on love-cook mode (for which Nami was eternally grateful), so he settled for blinking twice, smiling sweetly, and saying, "If that's what you want," before laying back down. Nami lay down next to him.

"So, you offer prime sleeping spots and bedside tea to ever girl that walks in here?" she asked. Sanji wrapped his arms around her and brought her close to his chest.

"Prime sleeping spots? Of course; it's rude not too. Bedside service? Only for you, love."

Nami blushed at the 'L' word and turned to call him out on it only to find that he was already deep asleep.

She decided she could let it go this one time and instead opted for snuggling into his chest.


	17. Expectations

**This was written for the op_fanforall prompt: **Perona/Luffy based on some sort of AU that she joins the crew**. I thought I'd share it with you all.  
**

**Yes, Sanji is not in this. Yes, I do recommend heading into your Cold War bomb shelters to escape the incoming apocalypse that will no doubt come as a result.**

**Enjoy.**

**And I don't own One Piece, just obsess about it.  
**

* * *

If you had asked Perona a few weeks ago where she expected to end up, this certainly wouldn't have been her top answer. This wouldn't have even been in her top fifty answers.

Even after she and Zoro had agreed to work together to get to Marineford, she never actually expected to make it there in time, what with his sense of direction and her uselessness anywhere near the water. And after they finally did get there, she certainly didn't expect Moria to turn her away so harshly after everything they had been through before, nor did she expect Absalom and Hogback to agree so forcefully.

She never expected to follow the swordsman around like a lost puppy afterwards either, and it was equally unexpected when he let her. She did expected him to return to his captain once the brother was saved and the war was over, but she never expected the captain, who she had helped to try to destroy in the past, to offer her an invitation to join his crew. She also never expected to actually accept said invitation, or the support of her joining from her swordsman companion and the cute cook.

She really didn't expect everyone else on the crew to welcome her with open arms like they did. Usopp especially went out of his way to make her feel accepted, although Nami did make sure she stayed out of the treasure room, but that was to be expected.  
Her life had taken such an unexpected turn that even when her new captain unexpectedly crashed into her one day while she was lounging around on deck, she really wasn't all that surprised. Annoyed yes, but nothing else could really shock her much at this moment.

"Oh, sorry Perona. Didn't see you there." He jumped up and looked down at her. When she failed to get up again he asked, "You okay?"

"Why me?" She muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

"Well, I guess it's because you were sitting there…but I'd blame Usopp cause he's supposed to be it."

"Not that!" She snapped. "Of all the places I could be right now, why am I here?"

"What are you talking about? You're one of us now, right? Where else would you be?" He asked confused.

"I never expected things to turn out like this…"

"Of course you wouldn't. That's what makes it fun! It'd be pretty boring if you everything went exactly as it's supposed to."

She blinked at him. "You're right; I guess it's not." She smiled at him. "Hey Luffy," she finally stood up again, "have I thanked you yet?"

"For what?"

"For letting me on your ship."

"You don't need to thank me for that." He grinned that maniac grin of his. "We're nakama after all, aren't we?"

At that moment Usopp, Chopper, and Brook came running around the corner. "Luffy!" Usopp said, "You're supposed to chase us now! You're it!"

"Huh? I thought you were it." He shrugged and touched Perona's shoulder. "Well, now Perona's it."

"Am I really?" She summoned four negative hollows.

"Gah! That's no fair!" Chopper shouted as changed into walk point and made a break for it. Luffy laughed and followed after him.

"Hollows are cheap!" Brook shrieked, not far behind.

"I still don't see what all the fuss is…" Usopp muttered.

"Negative Hollow!" Perona shouted.

Things may not have turned out the way she expected, but she wouldn't change it for the world.


	18. Thanksgiving With a Twist

**Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I actually had a cold this year. I couldn't taste anything yesterday so I was worried, but luckily it went away by dinner time.**

**Hope everyone else had a wonderful feasting time as well, and that your crazy families didn't drive you too insane!**

**Enjoy this randomness I concocted to celebrate the day.  
**

* * *

Sanji had been up since three getting everything ready for today. The turkey (they had somehow managed to get a live turkey on the last island…Luffy named it Pierre until Sanji told him about the feast, then his name became Supper) had been in the oven since that time. The mashed potatoes had been completed shortly after. The stuffing was almost done (just needed some more time on the stove). The soup had been prepared since yesterday. The yams were done by about midday. The peas were almost done too…no, now they were done. So were the rest of the vegetables. The clams were done and stashed in a secret corner of the fridge so no one could sneak off with them. The cranberry sauce…shit, he hadn't started that yet.

Well, no one actually eats the cranberry sauce anyway.

The first Thanksgiving with the nine of them was going to be _perfect_, or as perfect as he could get it. For everyone else anyway.

The poor chef had caught a bad cold a few days ago. With Chopper's medical expertise, he was now over most of it, but his sinuses were still blocked, so he couldn't actually smell or taste anything yet. Making the feast would have been impossible without a taster. Luffy volunteered, but was instantly turned down. With some persuasion (blackmail) from his precious Nami-swan, he was able to acquire a semi competent taster while everyone else was busy with their part of the feast.

"Try this." He held out a spoon under Zoro's face until the man reluctantly ate whatever was on it.

"S'fine." He replied and got said spoon smacked to his head as a result.

"How am I supposed to know what to add if it's just 'fine'? You need to be more specific!"

"Uh…it's good?" He got a glare as a response. "Have you ever considered that the stuffing is perfect just the way it is?"

"I haven't done anything to it yet!" The blonde started at the pot sitting on the stove while his swordsman companion continued staring at the wall. He sneezed, surgical mask Chopper made him wear catching the germs, before picking a spice off of his rack and adding it to a sample spoon.

"Try this." He offered the spoon to Zoro again, who ate it again.

"It's better."

"Anything else? Is it too salty? Not salty enough? Too bitter? Too spicy? Not fresh enough? Give me answers!"

"It's…" he tried again, "better than the one you gave me before."

"It's hopeless." Sanji deadpanned. "You're hopeless. Thanksgiving's ruined."

"Some master chef you turned out to be. Can't even cook without your taste buds."

"Shut up! Taste is everything in cooking! It'll be like you fighting without your arms."

"I'd still win." The green haired man said confidently, smirking at his companion.

"With your swords?"

"I'd tie them to my legs."

"How if you don't have any arms?"

He shrugged. "I'd still have the one in my mouth anyway, so it's no problem. I'd still win."

Sanji massaged his temples. "You are a hopeless idiot."

"At least I don't turn into a drama queen just 'cause I can't taste anything." He pointed randomly at the spice rack. "It needs more of that."

"Oregano?"

"Yeah, the stuffing lacks a certain quality that oregano would definitely bring out."

"Do you even know what that is?"

"Was I right?"

"I don't know I can't taste anything!"

"Then just add it."

The chef sighed, but ended up putting that and the spice from before into the pot. He offered Zoro another sample spoon.

"Try this." He did.

"Better." He pointed at the spice rack again. "But it needs more of that."

"Wasabi?"

"Yeah, it really lacks the quality that the wasabi will supply."

"Do you even know what that is?"

"Do you?"

As an answer, Sanji put some on the spoon and shoved it in the swordsman's mouth. A few seconds later, said swordsman had his mouth under the faucet, glugging down the water like there was no tomorrow.

"Do you still think I should add the wasabi, since you're the all knowing chef and all that?" Sanji asked innocently, handing his friend a glass of milk. Zoro glared at him as he downed that too.

* * *

Dinner was eventually somehow finished. Chopper, Robin, and Usopp helped to set it on the table that Franky and Usopp had spent the day setting up. Luffy was occupied by chasing Brooke around, who was playing soothing background music as well as running away from his captain, while Nami proceeded to yell at them to help out somehow.

Everyone settled down when the food was all out on the table. Even Luffy held back enough restraint to not stretch his arms wide and inhale everything until everyone was seated around the table.

"I present to you," Sanji said with a flourish, "the Thanksgiving Feast!"

"It looks wonderful, Sanji-kun!" Nami remarked.

"Indeed. You have outdone yourself yet again." Robin agreed.

"Really SUPER job there, Curly-cook."

"Can I eat it yet? Where's Supper at?" Luffy asked, looking around eagerly.

Brooke had already taken everything that was in front of him (though he hadn't actually eaten any of it yet). Usopp and Chopper looked at the chef wide-eyed waiting for the signal…

"Dig in!"

Instantly, everyone (except the girls who knew Sanji already had their plates set aside) dived for the food. It was a madhouse of stretching limbs, hooves, shuriken (Usopp used to use rotten eggs and tobacco sauce, but Sanji yelled at him for ruining the food), cane beatings, and regular beatings all around.

"For you, my angels!" Sanji said as he presented his lovelies with their dinner.

"Thank you Sanji-kun!" they said as they sat back to watch the brawl taking place before them.

Eventually the men separated, table completely trashed, and sat back to enjoy what food they had managed to beat everyone else to.

Brooke had emerged unharmed but had lost half of the food he had started with in the process. Franky had broken his sunglasses, but had escaped with a good third of the clams, much to the disappointment of Chopper, who couldn't get any, at the sacrifice of having no mashed potatoes. Chopper, despite not having any clams, had a monopoly over the gravy, which he ended up trading some for two of Usopp's. The sniper had a few new bruises, but was otherwise unharmed. Zoro had managed to get a decent portion of everything, except turkey, which seemed to have found its way into Luffy's stomach during the brawl.

Sanji took in the bittersweet scene. On the one hand, he was glad everyone was enjoying his cooking and that the Marimo didn't mess everything up. On the other hand, he kinda wanted to taste this too.

"Here Sanji-kun." Nami held out a red drink to the chef, who took it and downed it without question. He didn't except the spiciness though, and ended up spluttering and coughing.

"W-was that a Bloody Mary, Nami-san?"

"You shouldn't be the only one left out, especially since you've worked so hard on this. The spice will help clear your sinuses right?"

"Yeah!" Chopper exclaimed over a mouthful of asparagus. "I'm a doctor, so you can trust me on this!"

"Yeah! Drink more spice Sanji! Then come eat with us!" Luffy and Usopp shouted.

"Unless you're too much of a lightweight?" Zoro smirked.

"Shut up! I could out drink you if it was a Bloody Mary!"

"Is that so?" Zoro stood and walked until he was eye to eye with the chef. Robin produced two of the red drinks for the boys.

"Ready?" she asked, but the two of them were already chugging the drinks down, so instead she just brought out some more.

By the third drink Sanji could start to taste the tomatoes. By the sixth drink his taste was almost back to normal. By the tenth drink Zoro dropped his glass and downed Franky's cola instead.

"Wuss." Sanji smirked condescendingly.

"Shut up!" Zoro managed to get out despite the full mouth of cola.

"The carbonation's just going to make the burning worse…" Chopper said as Zoro ran off to the kitchen to find something that would actually help.

Sanji laughed and ate the rest of his meal. Zoro would just eat the one in the kitchen he had set aside for himself anyway.

He had done a pretty damn good job, if he said so himself. Guess he'd have to thank the Marimo for that. Or not.

Right now, he was happy to just watch his crazy pseudo family enjoying his hard work.


	19. 10,000,000 Fireflies

**This is for Abra Cadaverous, who helped me pick out a name for a character, which is a big deal. The request was for 'anything with UsoppxNami,' so I went with that. I kinda based it off of the song 'Fireflies' by Owl City, because it's stuck in my head and I was having trouble sleeping.**** Hope you like it though.  
**

**Enjoy.  
**

* * *

Insomnia wasn't really Usopp's thing. Usually life sailing the Grand Line would wear him out enough that he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Alas, all of the sheep had been counted until _they_ managed to fall asleep, yet the sniper was still wide awake, dreamland nothing but a distant memory.

Now that everyone else in the boys' cabin was sound asleep and making their nighttime noises, Usopp knew sleep would be impossible and decide to visit the deck. Maybe the sea air would do him some good, and if not, well the moon was full tonight. He could just stare at that.

When he made on deck, however, instead of finding just the moon hanging in the sky, he found a different scene. Sitting on deck, with a mug of something steaming, sat Nami, staring up at what appeared to be thousands, if not millions, of fireflies, flying this way and that in some predetermined pattern, and in the process, lighting up the sky in a way only fireflies are capable of.

Usopp shut the door lightly behind him and walked over to sit by his navigator, who smiled at him and shuffled aside to make room.

"Couldn't sleep?"She asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yeah. What about you?"

"I'm on watch tonight."

"Wasn't it Robin's turn?"

"She was falling asleep, so I offered my services instead."

"How much did you charge her?"

"I don't charge friends," she said, punching him playfully in the arm.

"So that makes the rest of us…"

"What people in my line of work call 'suckers,'" she smirked. The fireflies overhead changed tempo, causing Nami to look up and light up her orange hair in such a way that Usopp couldn't help but stare. Blushing a little at that thought, he quickly looked up as well.

"What's up with the fireflies?" he asked to fill the silence.

"They were here by the time I came out. Robin said it's some kind of mating ritual," she took another sip and smiled. "It almost looks like a dance…"

"Better them then me," Usopp grumbled under his breath.

"Hm?" Nami looked at him in surprise, "you don't like dancing?"

"Never saw the appeal," the sniper shrugged. "Besides, my life has always been too jam-packed with epic adventure to allow me time for such trivialities as dancing."

"You've never even tried it?"

"Nope."

"Well, that's not right," she set down her cup and stood up, offering the long-nosed man a hand. "C'mon. Stand up. I'm going to teach you how to dance."

"And how much will this cost me?" He asked while taking the hand and letting Nami pull him to his feet.

The navigator winked. "I don't charge friends, remember?" She took his left hand and put in on her waist, causing the stalwart sharpshooter to blush even deeper, and taking his right hand in her own. Nami led, taking them in a small circle, letting the fireflies above them set the tempo.

"Dancing's all about expression," the brown eyed girl explained as the long nosed man focused mainly on not stepping on her feet, "so really, there's no wrong way to do it."

"Until I crush your toes…"

Nami just laughed at that before leaning in and whispering, "Then you should pay attention to me. Read my movements and just…go with the flow…"

Usopp stared at her for a bit, wondering if he was just reading into the double meaning himself or if it was intentional, but the navigator's smile revealed nothing. So, he just took her advice and went with it, and as it turned out, he was getting it. Dancing with Nami was actually quite similar to when he was drawing, the lines, or their movements, just flowing together to create the bigger picture.

"See? It's not so bad."

"No, it's not. Probably because you're leading…"

"Well, I always lead." By this time the fireflies had moved lower so that instead of dancing above them, they were dancing around them, with them.

Nami laughed when she noticed, and it was such a heartfelt and sincere sound that Usopp couldn't help but join in.

Eventually the navigator's hands found their way behind his neck, while his now free hand made its way to her waist. They continued swaying in their little circle with the lightening bugs until Nami yawned and leaned her head against Usopp's shoulder.

"Sleepy?"

"Hm? No, no. Not really…"

"It's understandable. You've been working hard. These waters are especially dangerous…at least that's what you said."

"They are. Summer Islands have a high occurrence of hurricanes, and if they're near a Winter Island like this one is, then the currents just…" she waved her hand vaguely over the sniper's shoulder.

"If you want, you can go get some sleep. I'll take over for you," he offered.

"Thanks, but that's okay," she tightened her grip on him. "I'm fine staying out here…" Usopp coughed nervously and blushed a little.

"Really, you need to relax more," she pulled back to look him in the eye. "No wonder you couldn't sleep. You're all tense; you worry too much. Just…let it happen."

"Let what happen?"

"It. This," she leaned in to whisper in his ear again, "The fireflies know. Just…let it happen."

They both simultaneously stopped moving and pulled back to look up at said bugs, who were still flying throughout the air, surrounding them, making the deck seem like a whole other world; a magical place where anything could happen if you just let it.

_Well, why not?_ Usopp thought as he leaned in and kissed his navigator lightly. He could feel her smile against his lips as she kissed him back.

"Maybe you should get a room," someone shouted. They both broke away and looked over to find Sanji smirking playfully and holding a tray of milk and cookies.

"S-Sanji!" Usopp immediately let go of Nami and backed away, preparing himself for the chef's oncoming wrath. "Th-this isn't what it looks like!"

"Relax, you two have been dancing around each other for months now," he walked over and offered Nami the tray, "Honestly, it's a relief."

"Thank you Sanji-kun," Nami said, taking a cookie and some milk from the tray, "but why are you out here?"

"It's my watch," he answered, "although I was expecting to find the lovely Robin-chan…"

"We switched, but I'm going to head off to bed now," she yawned again. "Thanks for the food Sanji."

"Anytime, Nami-san."

"Good night Usopp," she kissed his cheek before heading off to her room.

Sanji set the tray down near the railing and settled down besides it, looking up at the fireflies. Usopp nervously walked over and sat on the other side of the tray.

"You're…still going to kick my ass for kissing her, aren't you?"

"Maybe in the morning, if I'm in a shitty mood and you ruin breakfast, and definitely if you break her heart," he picked a cookie off the tray and dipped it in some milk, "but right now, I kinda just want to watch the fireflies…"

Usopp grabbed a cookie and followed his gaze, where the fireflies were still locked in their dance. "Me too…"


	20. The Epic Adventures of Captain Usopp

**No, it's cool, I've got 10 minutes...**

**Today is April 1, and that means it's Civil Service Day in Thailand, the earliest day that Sizdah Be-dar can fall on and Islamic Republic Day in Iran, The Assyrian New Year, Odisha Day in India, Uzupis Day for anyone celebrating the independence of Uzupis, a neighborhood in Vilnius, the capitol of Lithuania, Edible Book Day, Fossil Fool Day, the start of the Miyako Odori festival in Japan, Maundy Thursday (at least this year it is...), Christian Feast Day, Veneralia if you're from Ancient Rome, April Fool's Day, whatever that is, and, of course, Usopp's Birthday. **

**Is it sad that I know the Strawhat's birthdays better than my own friends? Oh well...**

**The only thing I should warn you about is that crossovers are my guilty pleasures and they're my favorites and shut up. And the following tale is completely ridiculous.  
**

**Enjoy, and Happy Birthday Usopp!**

**And it took 10 minutes to type/look up all that, so make that a belated birthday.**

**And I don't own One Piece. Or those other characters...you know the ones...  
**

* * *

The sun was shining brightly as Usopp made his way down the coast. The crew was on a new island for the rest of the week and had decided to split up and explore the town and surrounding areas. Everyone was to meet back at the ship by 6:00 tonight to celebrate Usopp's birthday.

After spending the morning shopping for all of his gadgets with Chopper, the sniper decided to go down to the beach in the afternoon. Some of the locals had told him that the beach was very beautiful during this time of day, one of their natural treasures they claimed, and he wanted to see for himself. He'd brought along some of his brushes and paints, just in case it was as beautiful as they said and he wanted to show Kaya when he got back.

They weren't lying; the beach was lovely, so he settled down and set up shop to paint, or he would have, if it weren't for the cry that rang through the air.

Usopp looked around and found a group of…things surrounding what appeared to be a blonde woman. The things looked like giant purple blobs with demon horns and red eyes that breathed fire as they surrounded their defenseless prey. Usopp's first instinct was to, of course, cry, duck, and cover behind the nearest rock.

"Help me!" the woman screamed. "Please, someone help me! I don't want them to eat me!"

He peeked out over the rock and saw her crying, pleading for her life with the things. She needed a hero right now.

"_Hissatsu Fire Bird Star!_" Sogeking shouted as he fired towards the things. Apparently they were quite flammable, as they caught fire easily and ran away shortly after.

"Are you alright Miss?" Sogeking asked when he made his way over to the woman and helped her up.

"Y-yes! Thank you!" She looked exactly like Kaya, Usopp was shocked to notice, but Kaya was back in Syrup Village, studying to become a doctor and waiting for him to come home. What was she doing here?

The woman (who definitely _wasn't_ Kaya, no matter how similar they looked) gasped as soon as she got a good look at his face. "I-it's you!"

Maybe it was Kaya after all. Usopp took a few tentative steps back. He wasn't supposed to see her again until he sailed the world and became a brave warrior.

"I, I mean, we've been waiting for you to return for so long…" She smiled at him and ran forward to tackle him into a hug. "We've missed you…Sogeking."

That's right; he was still wearing the mask. "That's…very kind of you Miss, but I really must be going-"

"No!" She squeezed him tighter, "you can't leave just yet! You've come to fulfill the prophecy, haven't you?"

Sogeking was confused. Usopp was twice as confused. "Huh?"

"Come," Not-Kaya grabbed his wrist and lead him into the nearby forest, "we've been waiting for you."

* * *

Ayak was apparently the girl's name. Ayak was her village's Moon Goddess Priestess, which was a vital role in the village's survival. She had taken Sogeking through the small village to meet with the elders and other priestesses, the villagers all coming out to gawk and stare and point at him as he passed.

There were six other priestesses. Azodi, who was Fire, was a red-head with brown eyes and a spit fire temper and a blazing personality. Nasyte was Water, and she had blue hair and eyes and was very calm and serene. Celead was Earth. She had green hair and eyes and was very upbeat and chipper. Sopis, who was Sun, was blonde with orange eyes and always needed to be the center of attention. Tiyci was Light, and she was blonde with yellow eyes, bright, and usually very happy. Xysous was Shadow. She had purple hair with matching eyes, was very quiet and very bitter about everything. Zitos and Midoph were the two elders, who were very old. Their personalities were like yin and yang, with Zitos being thick-headed and very aggressive and Midoph being more calm and preferring to think things through.

Which was great and all, but it didn't really explain why Sogeking was there.

"Sogeking," Midoph spoke, "Your return to the village is much anticipated and appreciated. Now you can fulfill the prophecy."

"…what?"

"The prophecy!"Zitos exclaimed, banging a hand on the table. "Surely you must remember the prophecy!?"

"Ah, um, I am quite sorry. I've been on so many adventures lately…"

"That's alright, Sogeking-sama," Ayak beamed at him. "We'll gladly tell you the prophecy to refresh your memory."

"Make it quick!" Zitos barked. The priestesses stood up in a circle and weaved their tale.

_Many ages ago, this island was a calm, peaceful utopia. There was plenty of land and food for everyone; everyone was happy and content. Then one day, They came. They spread evil thoughts and feelings throughout the land, causing conflict and strife. Just as our ancestors seemed doomed, a mighty hero named Sogeking appeared. With his divine justice he was able to seal Them away at the cost of his very own life. The seal was doomed to fail eventually, and Sogeking know this. In his final breath, he promised us that if They were ever to return to the world, he would show up once again to save us all._

"So…you think that the 'Sogeking' in that prophecy is me?" Sogeking asked.

"Of course it's you!" Zitos exclaimed, "How many other Sogeking's do you know?"

There were none, of course, as Usopp had come up with the name spur-of-the-moment on top of a speeding Sea Train in the middle of a raging storm on his way to Enies Lobby as a way to aid the friends he couldn't face at the time. Coincidences sure are funny sometimes.

"Very sorry, but I'm not exactly sure if you have the right guy here…"

"No, we do," Midoph said, "We definitely do. Ayak will show you the way to Their lair, were you will proceeded to defeat them once and for all and bring our island to the peace and prosperity it once had." He nodded and Ayak stepped forward to grab his hand and lead him away again.

"But…"

"Good luck Sogeking-sama!" The priestesses shouted as he was taken away to somewhere unknown.

* * *

"You know, Ayak-kun," Sogeking was saying, "There is a town full of people further down the coast…"

"Yes, The Strangers," she replied. "According to legend, they showed up from beyond the seas after you left. There was an epic battle and we were forced to flee into the forest…but now that you're back, you can help us regain our lost land!" she beamed at him.

"I was under the impression that I was simply to rid you of them…"

"But…we've been waiting so patiently for you to return, Sogeking-sama…" Ayak turned to face him, eyes wide with a look akin to that of a kicked puppy on her face.

Usopp was conflicted. Sogeking was a hero, and heroes helped people in trouble like Ayak right? On the other hand, Usopp was the feared sniper-champion of the very much wanted Strawhat Pirates. If they caused problems on the island, it could mean trouble for their small crew, the famous Marine base on the island would make sure of that.

As such, Usopp played one of the last cards in his deck: the cop out.

"I…will try my best, Ayak-kun. That is all I can promise."

She seemed satisfied with this answer and continued to lead him into the darkness of the forest.

* * *

"RARRRG!!" The things surrounding him screeched as the breathed fire.

"_Fire Bird Star!_" Sogeking shouted, sending them all running away. It's a wonder their fire-breaths didn't set themselves on fire, Usopp thought.

"This isn't getting us very far, Sogeking-sama," Ayak said. "We need to get into Their headquarters and defeat the Commanders."

"Where is it, Ayak-kun?"

"Follow me, it's just up ahead!" She grabbed his hand again and led the way, only to be surrounded by over a hundred things.

"It's a trap!" Usopp shouted as he proceeded to freak out.

"Calm down, Sogeking-sama!" Ayak pulled on his wrist, effectively shutting him up, "L-let's see what they want…"

The things parted, revealing a rich-looking blonde man wearing an expensive school uniform of black slacks, white button up, with a periwinkle blazer and matching tie, holding a rose.

"Commander Suoh," one of the things exclaimed, "The priestess is back, and she brought a friend."

Suoh looked them over before stopping and staring at Sogeking. "Don't I know you? You're nose seems familiar…something about a singing contest perhaps?"

"No, I don't believe we've ever met before."

"Must be thinking of someone else then." He sighed before turning to Ayak. "Ah, you're back again beautiful. Maybe this time you'll join me for tea and give us what we want?"

"No. This time we're here to destroy you once and for all," she declared unflinchingly, which scared Usopp quite a bit, "Where are the others?"

"Back at the base of course," he handed the rose to her and walked away, "If you want, I can take you to them."

"Well that was easy," Sogeking stated.

"Too easy…"

* * *

Tamaki led them inside of a large system of caves near the back of the island. After many detours and false sliding walls, Sogeking and Ayak found themselves in a small room that could only be a headquarters. The walls were covered with screens displaying the entirety of the little island, including the Ayak's village and the interior of the Thousand Sunny, among all the other ships in the dock. Impressive, considering the Strawhats had only been there a few short hours…and the ship was supposed to be heavily guarded.

"The den den mushi signal won't be able to reach here as soon as your ship leaves," Tamaki explained when he caught Usopp looking, "don't worry; it's just a precaution."

"Precaution against what?"

"Just in case. You can never be too sure." Usopp then noticed that there were three chairs in front of the screens on the far wall. One was empty, presumably the missing commander's, while the other two were turned away from the door, facing the screens in a way so their faces couldn't be seen. The voice came from the chair in the middle.

"Resistance is futile," the chair on the right said, "You should just give us what we want now, Ayak."

"I'll never give in!" She declared, "Not to the likes of you."

"Is that so?"

The two chairs turned to face their guests. In the center chair was a large man with short, dirty-blonde hair with a piece sticking up in front and sky blue eyes behind a pair of glasses. He was wearing a kaki military uniform complete with combat boots and a brown leather jacket, sitting cross legged in his chair. The man on the right was rather scrawny with black hair sticking up everywhere, pale skin, and black circles under his eyes. He was wearing only jeans and a white t-shirt, and had his feet on his chair.

"America, L," Tamaki addressed them as he sat in his seat as well, "What should we do with them?"

"We need Ayak," L said, eating some cake that appeared out of nowhere, "The other is of no use to us though. Have Them put him away somewhere until we're done."

"No! You won't get away with this!" Ayak shouted, "Get them now, Sogeking-sama! Finish this once and for all!"

"R-right…" Just as he brought up his Kabuto however, L sprang from his seat and delivered a strong kick to Usopp's hand, forcing him to drop the slingshot. At the same time, America swiftly jumped up and pulled out a gun the likes of which Usopp had never seen and pointed it steadily at them.

"My friend here is a really good shot," Suoh was saying, "I wouldn't if I were you…"

"Wh-what do you fiends want with Ayak-kun?" Sogeking said as he moved between America's gun and Ayak. Usopp's knees were visibly shaking the whole time.

"It's nothing really," L was saying as he twirled his fork in the air after returning to his seat, "Honestly, it was a rather large mistake on your part, but we'd just like to go home now."

"Go…home?" Usopp questioned.

"Yeah," America stood up, still keeping the gun trained at them, but not nearly as threatening as before, "I mean, I'm in the middle of WWII right now, so I really do need to go back. It'll be bad if my side loses."

"I'm in the middle of the climax!" Tamaki dramatically stated, "You can't take the main character away in the middle of the climax!"

"I don't have a pressing need to get home, to be honest," L said, "but that doesn't mean I want to be here."

"Um…what?"

"Don't listen to them Sogeking-sama!" Ayak shouted, clutching at his shoulder. "They're pure evil! They came here to ally themselves with Them and to try and wipe my people out!"

"Not really," Tamaki said, playing with his rose, "you accidently summoned us here while trying to get your 'Sogeking.' Its fine, an honest mistake to be sure Princess, but you refused to send us back…"

"So we decided to join forces with Them in an attempt to find our own way home," America explained, "turns out they were pretty cool though. They've actually been trying to make peace with you for hundreds of years, but you keep shunning them and beating them up…"

"Rather pointless if you ask me," L stated, "as They are very peaceful and wouldn't harm a fly. The problem is that They told us the only way back home is through you, and you all have been most uncooperative with that."

"D-don't listen to them Sogeking-sama!" Ayak pulled on his arm, practically begging, "They're lying! We didn't try to summon you because w-we always knew you'd come back! C-clearly they're lying! They attacked us first! You have to defeat them now Sogeking-sama!"

"I don't know…what these guys are saying does make sense…"

"No it doesn't! How can anything that breaths fire and look like They do come in peace?! We have to wipe them out, and we have to do it by destroying the Intruders!"

"Their fire is perfectly harmless," L stated, "You'd probably know this if you actually tried to talk to them ever."

"And it's not our fault we intruded or whatever," America said, "You're the ones who kidnapped us."

"Please Princess," Tamaki smiled at her, "We really do just want to go home now."

"Ayak-kun," Sogeking turned to her and asked, "Is this true? I don't mind that you attempted to call me here instead of waiting, but if you really did grab these three from their homes, it's only fair that you return them."

"N-no! Th-they're lying! W-we didn't…i-it wasn't…s-stop looking at me like that!" she lunged forward and snatched Kabuto from the floor where Sogeking dropped it before and aimed it at its owner's face. "I'm sorry Sogeking-sama, but if you won't fulfill your prophecy willingly, then I'll have to make you-"

While she was just getting into her monologue, Tamaki, America, and L triple teamed her, managing to take her down and disarm her in one go.

"Ayak-kun," Sogeking said when he retrieved Kabuto, "It is my belief that you should let them go home."

"I-it's not my d-decision…e-everybody agreed…this was for the best…"

"So we use her as a hostage," L concluded, "She's high ranking enough that we'd get what we wanted, and if their hero Sogeking backs us up, they shouldn't try to stand against us."

"Are you mad?! We can't use her as a hostage!" Tamaki exclaimed, "She's a lady! That's quite rude!"

"Well we have to do something, I want to go home." America had finished tying Ayak up and slung her over his shoulder. "What L said makes sense, so I say we do that."

"Commanders!" one of the things ran in and shouted, "We have a problem! The Villagers are attacking!"

"That makes things easier," L stated, "they've come to us."

"Cool that means we don't have to take hostages!" America turned to address the thing, "Bring the other priestesses and the elders in here." The thing ran off to do what it was told.

"Isn't that taking even more hostages…?" Usopp wondered aloud.

"Whatever."

The priestesses and the elders were brought forward, and after much kicking, screaming, and general stubbornness from them, and some explaining and threatening from Sogeking, they gave in and set up the portal to send Tamaki and America home.

"Actually, I don't want to go home right now," L decided at the last minute, "I think I'll stay here for a while longer."

"You fools!" Zitos shouted, "You've done yourselves in! Without your commanders there is nothing to stop us from winning this fight once and for all!"

"None of that now, Elder-kun," Sogeking stated, "L and I have been talking, and we've come up with a plan of action that will bring about peace between your village and Them…"

* * *

"And that's why I was late coming back to the ship today," Usopp ended his tale with a flourish.

"Wow really?!" Chopper said, "That's so cool!"

"Yeah!" Luffy agreed, "I don't mind having dinner a little late if you were off bringing about an everlasting peace!"

"You two are morons," Zoro stated, "he's clearly lying."

"What really?!"

"I am not! That's really what happened!"

"I'm willing to forget about it for today," Nami said, "but next time the standard Late Fee will be double enforced if you pull something like this again."

"But-"

"Part of Long nose-kun's story is true at any rate," Robin said, a smile on her face, "The beach is rather lovely in the afternoon."

"It's all true I tell you!"

"I dunno," Franky said, "I was looking for some more lumber in town, and all of the locals said that they had to import it. Plus I didn't see any forest on the island."

"It was there I tell you!"

"Yohoho! I see your tales are as fantastic as ever, Usopp-san. Of course, I have no eyes, so I can't really see! SKULL JOKE!!"

"Brook, I tell you it actually-"

"Whatever you say shithead," Sanji placed the finishing touches on the cake he'd been prepared and brought it over to the table. He cut a large slice and placed it in front of Usopp, "just eat your cake. I had to go through extra effort to keep Luffy away since you showed up late, so you better appreciate this."

He did, and it was delicious. All in all, it had been one of his better birthdays.

* * *

_**Ouran High School Host Club **_**is currently in the middle of it's finale right now. _Axis Powers Hetalia_, as the name implies, takes place mostly during WWII**. **As most of you probably already know, _Death Note_ is already over and done with.**


	21. Luffy's Revenge Song

**Happy May 5th everyone! And a special Happy Birthday to Luffy! According to my calendar, not only is it Cinco de Mayo, but also this day in 1937 the _Hindenburg_ caught fire! **O_O **Hopefully tomorrow will be a happier event...**

**Anyway, for Luffy's birthday, I grant him the gift of revenge. I've wanted to do a revenge fic for Luffy ever since _that_ happened but I've never gotten around to it until now. I've also been wanting to do something with the 'Mariner's Revenge Song' by The Decemberists since forever ago, so why not do them together? So for warnings, let's say revenge, creepy background music, some blood, and Luffy acting like a psycho. Do I know how to celebrate a birthday or what?**

**Enjoy it anyway.**

* * *

Akainu muttered darkly as he kicked something slimy off his shoe. Where had that whale come from anyway?

That didn't matter right now. What did matter was somehow trying to get out of here, and quickly before he was digested, just like everyone else in the shipwreck. Or at least, he hadn't encountered anyone else, neither from his ship or that other one, so he assumed they're all dead. Honestly he had no idea how he survived either, but it looked like he was the sole survivor.

Just as he thought that though, he heard a whistling echoing around the stomach. Akainu paused in his search for something useful to look up and spot a young boy wearing a straw hat. So there was another survivor…he didn't look familiar, so he must have been from the other ship.

The boy stopped whistling when he caught sight of the marine admiral, and after giving him a look over, adopted a feral grin that made Akainu uneasy. He quickly brushed it off though; this boy was no threat to him.

"So, you survived too…"

Maybe this kid was on his ship…sure sounded like he knew him. That didn't mean Akainu recognized him though. "Of course I survived. You didn't think a mere whale could do me in did you?"

The boy chuckled. "You don't remember me at all do you?"

Now caught red handed, he saw no need to keep up whatever ruse he was trying for. "Not really."

"I wasn't on your ship, if that's what you're worried about," the boy chuckled again – why was that so creepy – before continuing, "I don't blame you really; I was only about three when we last met…you were about eighteen I guess."

Ah, that would explain it. That wasn't a very good time in his life, so he blocked most of it out.

"Yes, you were down on your luck. Spent most of your money on whores and booze or gambled it away. My brother felt _sorry _for you, he actually felt sorry for scum like you, and took you in. Do you remember that at least?"

Now that he mentioned it, Akainu did recall a young, rich man about his age that took him in during those times, Ace or something like that. Whatever happened to him anyway?

"_You_ spent all of our money, _Ace's_ money. Gambled it away on this or that and then _left us with nothing_."

That's right, he had done that. After that he had cleaned up and joined the marines, and to silence anyone who knew about his former life and could jeopardize his new job, he…

Oh. Well, he assumed this boy wasn't going to help him escape after all.

"You remember now don't you? I can see it in your eyes. Yes, Ace tried very hard to _legitimately _make ends meet, but you didn't care did you? All you cared about was your precious career and had him killed off as a pirate anyway."

He didn't know Ace had a brother; otherwise he would have gotten him too. Well, at least they were both trapped in this here whale.

"You know what Ace said to me as they carted him off to jail?

'_Find him, bind him  
Time him to a pole and break  
His fingers to splinters.  
Drag him to a hole until he  
Wakes up, naked  
Clawing at the ceiling of his grave.'_"

Just as he was starting to come up with a way to kill the kid in here, he felt a sharp pain in his leg. Looking down, Akainu noticed that the boy had, sometime during his speech, crept close enough to stab his thigh with a piece of driftwood. This did not bode well.

"It took me fifteen years to get over Ace's death," he continued on as if nothing had happened, wiping the blood off on the marine's jacket, "Fifteen years I spent wandering the streets doing whatever I needed to survive. Eventually some priest took pity on my pathetic state and hired me to clean his school, but never once did my mind stray from revenge."

This wasn't good; clearly this kid was crazy…for some reason. The leg he had injured was his good leg, as he had sprained the other ankle the previous week in a fight. The boy was either a damn genius or just damn lucky. Now that he had a closer look, Akainu saw that the boy was also tough, tougher than he first surmised anyway, and could probably take him in a fight, especially in his current state.

"One night, I heard the priest talking to a sailor who had just come back from sea. Apparently the captain of his ship matched your description, and was known for his loyalty to the marines and his cruelty towards his enemies. I wasn't about to let my chance slip away, so the next day I stowaway on the Red Haired Pirates ship as the head out to sea. The captain really didn't' mind after he heard my story and had me do some chores."

They had been chasing the Red Haired Pirates, or were the Red Haired Pirates chasing them? It all seemed like a blur, and while the admiral mused on this another piece of driftwood was stabbed into his shoulder.

"I could hear my brother cheering me on in the sea wind,

'_Find him, bind him  
Tie him to a pole and break  
His fingers to splinters.  
Drag him to a hole until he  
Wakes up, naked,  
Clawing at the ceiling of his grave.'_"

By this point Akainu was frantic. None of his military training had prepared him for what to do if you were trapped in a whale with a crazy kid seeking vengeance on you for killing him brother. If he ever got out of this, he'd have to fix that.

"After, I don't even know how long, we finally caught up to you. Or maybe you caught up to us, who really knows? Just as we were going to face off, this whale pops out of nowhere and eats us! Just like that! I'm not even sure how I survived…I think the rest of the crew is dead. I was _certain_ you were dead too, but no, you survived as well! Did I mention how happy I was that you survived?"

Another piece of driftwood was stabbed through his other thigh, followed shortly by the fourth through his other shoulder. There was no way Akainu could fight back now.

"Do you know what I'm going to do now?"

"…I can take a guess…"

* * *

Luffy sighed before stepping away from the hull of the ship, satisfied. It wasn't quite what Ace had asked, but finding a hole in the middle of a whale was hard! He should have thought about that when making his last request.

"Luffy!" he heard someone shout. He turned to find Shanks and the rest of the crew shouting and waving at him from the direction of what he assumed to be the mouth.

"Captain! Guys!" Luffy grinned and waved back, "You did survive after all!"

"Of course we did! Like a whale could finish us off!" Shanks bragged, "Anyway we found a way out! Apparently this whale has a hatch in the top."

"Really? It's a mystery whale!"

"Whatever. We were just checking for other survivors. Did you see anyone down there?"

"Nope. I haven't seen a living soul…"


	22. Something Short and Sweet

**I wasn't going to post this, but I haven't posted anything in a while and I feel bad. T_T**

**For the fanforall prompt: **_Brook asks to see okama!Sanji's panties._ **How could I pass up that crack?**

**Sorry it's so short, and enjoy.  
**

* * *

Brook wasn't sure where he was exactly. His new 'friends' had agreed to send him back to Shabondy, but this clearly wasn't it. Not that he was complaining, as this Kamabakka Kingdom was right up his ally, as in, full of young maidens with panties ripe for the picking.

These maidens, though, only giggled and fled when he approached, but that too was alright; the chase was half the fun. Still, it was getting late, and he was rather tired from his strange and bizarre journey. If he didn't get some panties soon…

There! One of the maidens had stopped and leaned against a tree to catch her breath. Her long, blond hair covered her face, but her pink, frilly dress hid that which the skeleton desired most.

Using all the stealth his bones gave him, Brook crept up behind her so as not to startle the poor dear.

"Excuse me Miss," he asked as politely as possible, "may I see your panties?"

"Like hell shithead!" A very familiar, very masculine voice shouted as a foot kicked him into a nearby tree.

"S-Sanji-san? Is that you?"

"Brook!" Indeed it was the Strawhats own resident love cook, dressed up in the same feminine attire as the other island's residents. He looked delighted to see the musician, but quickly became embarrassed when he remembered his situation.

"So, uh, Brook…" he coughed awkwardly, "when the other's come back…can we just, you know…pretend this never happened?"

"Certainly we can Sanji-san," relief washed over the chef's face.

"Now about those panties…?"


End file.
